


His strength is making me stronger

by pixiiedust



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Amy's family are there as well, F/M, Fluff, Step Daughter, Step-Family, The squad are mentioned and make appearances but not major characters, amy's pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-04-29 20:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14480550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiiedust/pseuds/pixiiedust
Summary: Amy had a plan, she always had a plan. It was hanging over her bed and she was determined not to let anyone get in the way. A pregnancy, a daughter, a marriage and then a divorce was not part of that plan. But she will make it work, she always makes it work.or...the one where Amy's life has fell slightly off track, but Jake is there and determined to help her put it back on track.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so I had this idea a while back and then it kept coming back to me so I started writing it. Originally it was just suppose to be a onset but then I kept writing and it was getting longer and longer and I figured it was best to turn it into a multi chapter instead. I have been writing this for about 2 months now and I have about 35k words wrote up already, which is nowhere near the end of this story. But I decided to start editing through and uploading chapters while I work on the fic.
> 
> This chapter is really short but it's literally just the introduction, the next chapter should be up in the next few days, it honestly depends how quickly I get it all edited.

It was never part of her plan; she had it all mapped out. It was written on her life calendar, she would focus on her career until her mid 30s, then she would settle down with the perfect guy and have children when she was higher than a detective in the NYPD. She wasn’t supposed to fall pregnant just a year into her life as a detective by her boyfriend at the time; she definitely wasn’t supposed to agree to marry him and then spend the next year juggling her job, her daughter and a failing marriage that ended after just 13 months when he decided he didn’t really want the responsibility of a wife and child.

Amy was still determine to try reach her life goals, she had an even bigger reason to reach for them now because she wanted to show her daughter that she could do anything she wanted to do. Her parents weren’t thrilled with the divorce and that Amy was now a single mother but both of them had already took early retirement so between them and her seven brothers she had more than enough hands to help when it came to babysitting.

She moved to the nine nine when her daughter, Lola Rose, was 18 months old. She had wanted a career change as soon as she started working as a detective; the precinct she had been working at was horrible, it was full of old, sexist cops who disrespected her and she was hardly given any field work. The main reason she’d stuck at it for so long was because she needed money for Lola; but this position had come up and she’s heard the nine nine was a better precinct and that they also had another female detective which excited her.

She was paired with Jake Peralta from the get go which was disappointing because he was infuriating and immature and seemed to know exactly what to do in order to push all her buttons. Plus she secretly wanted to be paired with Rosa who was the most intimidating detective Amy had ever met but she was brilliant at her job and Amy had hoped for them to be badass female detectives together.

Still she did occasionally get to work with Diaz; plus she did soon realise that yes Peralta was childish and annoying but he was a great detective and he was more than happy for her to get involved in the action and never treated her like she was weaker or less capable than him because she was female which was refreshing compared to her last precinct.

She finally felt positive about her life again, the previous years hadn’t been the best and although she’d got her daughter from it, who she would not trade for anything, it felt like for the first time in almost three years things were back on track and her goals were in sight once more. Sure she didn’t see herself settling down now, couldn’t imagine a guy been interested in both a single mother who was aiming to be the top of her field. Not that she had any time spare to date anyway. All that mattered was that she finally felt she was back on track with her life, finally back to getting as close to her life calendar as possible.


	2. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A case hits closer to home that Amy would have liked. But she finds the comfort in an unlikely companion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter, I hope you enjoy it.

 For the next six months Amy manages to find the perfect balance between work and home life; she makes sure that she is always home in time to make dinner for her and her daughter before spending a few hours with her before bed time; she was always there for breakfast before her parents or brothers would come to either pick Lola up or spend the day at the apartment and she tries to avoid working weekends as much as possible. It works well, she had always kept her private life exactly that at her previous precinct and so she has also subconsciously done that at the nine nine. It wasn’t on purpose or anything, it was just something she was so used to by now, and Diaz and Peralta - who she was usually paired with - were never that open with her either so it didn’t feel like that big of a deal. Charles was more open about his private life, sometimes to a point here Amy wanted to gag, but Amy never felt the need to be open with him in return. 

Then - seven months after her transfer - she works a particularly hard case with Peralta; it was a hate crime, the victim and her family killed because they weren’t ‘actual Americans’ - something which Amy quotes from the murderer when she finally catches him. They work it for several days, combing through evidence, trying to put clues together and work out exactly who could be behind it. She has to phone her parents on multiple occasions to tell them she has to work late and could they please keep Lola longer; luckily her dad, who was an ex-cop himself, understood. But, the case hits Amy harder than she would like it to have.

She always feels weird when cases she works on, affect her, because she was supposed to be a detective, she saw crime all the time and this was not her first murder case she had worked, was not even in her first ten, so she should be getting somewhat used to it by now, as used to it as someone in her job and situation could be. But the day that her and Jake finally catch the perp, she feels weird and jittery for the rest of it, she was more distant than usual - which was saying something as she still wasn't convinced she fit in at the nine nine - and she attempted to avoid her colleagues as much as possible that day, while she completed and filed the paperwork for the case.

It was another late night and once again Amy had had to call her mom and explain that she would be late home, but hopefully this would be for the last time in a while, she misses the chance to have dinner with Lola, although she does manage to leave the precinct with enough time that she should see Lola before she goes to bed. Amy makes sure she lets everything out before she heads inside, she had felt the need to cry all day and she does not want her mom or daughter to catch on to how subdued she’s feeling. Luckily it works because her mom does not mention anything been distinctly different about her mood and Lola is telling her mom all about her day with a burst of energy that a toddler should not have at this time in the evening; therefore, clearly not picking up on anything wrong with her mom.

  
Her mom leaves not long after Amy returns home, giving Amy and Lola some time together just the two of them before Lola needs to go to bed. The pair spend some time on the living room floor, playing with Lola's barbie dolls and Amy even lets Lola stay up a little later than her scheduled bed time. But eventually Amy knows that she needs to stop her time with her daughter short and get Lola to bed otherwise she'll struggle with her routine the rest of the week. 

As Amy starts to finally attempt to begin Lola’s nightly routine, something which her daughter resists hard from her place on the carpet where she is determined to keep playing with her dolls, the doorbell rings. They hardly ever get visitors, especially at this time of the night, normally it's just a neighbour asking a favour of some sort, so Amy doesn’t even think to look at who is behind the closed door before pulling it open. She briefly wonders if her mom had forgotten something when she had left and that she's returning for it. Although that is fleeting because she thinks it has been too long since her mom left for her to be returning at this time.  It's not her mom or her neighbour on the other side of the door, the person on the other side of the door shocks her.  She is shocked to find Peralta looking a little awkward on the other side of the door, he has takeout bags in one hand and a six pack in his other hand. Amy has not shared her address with Jake so she isn’t even sure how he knew where she lived.

“Hey, sorry to just show up randomly like this. But you seemed a little quiet after we solved the case today and I know how hard they can get sometimes, I know how it feels to get a hard case, so I figured I would bring you some food and see if you wanted to talk about it, or not talk about it just eat. Take your mind of it. I kinda snuck into McGintley’s files to see where you lived, just cause I know they can be rough, and...” he’s rambling, that's the first she thinks, he doesn’t know how or when to stop.

She’s also shocked that he has even thought about coming here, thought about how she might like someone to talk to her about the case. That he had actually picked up on how she was affected by the murder and might want some help to take her mind of it all. She never expected this from Jake, he was simply her work colleague, her work partner, they didn't have a relationship outside of the ninety ninth precinct. But he picked up on her mood and took it upon himself to try and help her.  Before she can interrupt his ramblings however, someone else interrupts instead.

“Momma?” Lola asks, and Amy turns around to find her daughter is no longer sat on the carpet in the living room, she is now stood just behind Amy, holding her Barbie close to her chest as she wonders what is taking her mom so long to return and who this man stood at the door is.

“Oh god I am so sorry, I didn’t even think. Of course, you would have other things going on, and here I am just stood on your doorstep with food like a right weirdo. I didn’t mean to interrupt you and your family. I am really sorry.” He’s rambling again, clearly flustered by the possibility that he has interrupted her in the middle of something and Amy can’t help but think it’s sweet, while also a little amusing as she lets a small chuckle leave her mouth. 

She looks back at her daughter for a moment, her2-year-old daughter who she's about to put to bed because it is now quite a bit past her bedtime, she then looks back at Peralta, her partner who is currently holding hot food that smells really good. She hasn’t eaten since her breakfast this morning, she got home after Lola’s dinner time and hadn't yet prepared anything for herself. She knows that once Lola is in bed she would just warm up a microwave meal and wallow while watching television, and so she does the one thing that she never thought she would do.

“Peralta look it’s fine, it was really thoughtful of you to come around and offer to talk through the case or just take my mind off it. I haven’t eaten all day, so if your offer is still on the table you are more than welcome to come in. I was just about to put Lola to bed anyway, so I would only have myself as company for the rest of the night.” She tells him, while inviting him in, picking Lola up and moving her back to her spot by the sofa. Jake looks a little uncertain, but he steps into the apartment anyway, toeing off his shoes by the door and then removing his leather jacket while Amy takes the food and drink from him.

“Jake this is my daughter Lola. Lola sweetheart, this is my friend Jake from work.” Amy says, and that is the moment when Jake meets Lola for the first time.

“Make yourself at home, I will just go put the food in the kitchen, then I’ll come back and put Lola to bed, then we can eat and talk or whatever.” Amy tells him, and Jake just nods as he lets his eyes sweep over the apartment. Amy is not used to having company so she is not really sure what to do. But she takes the food and beer and heads into the kitchen. 

She doesn’t intend to be too long, hopes to get Lola settled quickly and she doesn't want to leave Jake in the living room with Lola for too long, her daughter has a habit of asking intrusive questions at strangers and she doesn't want her daughter making him more uncomfortable than he already looks. She places the food on the kitchen counter and the beer goes in the fridge; she then quickly checks that she has some clean dinner plates to eat from, especially since she hadn’t had time to wash last night’s dishes and her mom had been here for dinner tonight.

Amy manages to find two clean plates and enough cutlery for them bothand then heads back through into the main room, but her body halts at the sight that she is greeted with. She had expected Jake to be sat on the sofa, expected him to look uncomfortable as he waits for Amy to return for the child she has left on the floor. But instead she finds him sat on the carpet beside Lola, and what shocks her more is that he is engaging in a conversation with her about the dolls she’s playing with. He is asking Lola questions about the dolls names and the dolls personalities andLola is engaging back, talking as animated as possible for a 2-year-old, and Jake is listening to her,concentrating on what she is saying and replying to her when he can. Amy never expected Jake to be good with kids, as far as she was concerned he had no experience with children. But when Amy thinks about it, how he is basically just a big child himself, it seems an obvious conclusion that he would be good with children.He seemed a natural, sat there on her carpet and talking with Lola.

She watches them for a minute or two, she doesn't want to interrupt them and she wants to stay in the scene for a moment because she finds that she likes the sight, it almost gives her a warm feeling all over.Eventually she knows she needs to interrupt, her daughter needs to get to bed, needs to keep to her routine that Amy has finally managed to get her into. So, she enters the living room, speaking out about how it's time for bed and effectively cutting of Jake and Lola's conversation. Lola complains like she usually does,she wants to keep playing with her dolls, but Amy doesn't give in, picks her up despite the protests, she tells Lola to say goodnight to Jake, before telling Jake she will be back as soon as possible and he’s more than welcome to find something to watch or get his food which she has left in the kitchen.

Despite her daughtersprotests that she is not tired; it doesn’t take Amy long to get her settled and she is asleep within 20 minutes,after just one bedtime story. Amy closes the door with a relieved sigh,ready to settle down with her food and TV. However, Amy is suddenly struck with how awkward the situation she is about to enter into might be, she has never spent time outside of work with Jake, in fact the only time she’s ever spent any prolonged time with him is when they’ve gone on stakeouts. What were they supposed to talk about? She isn't sure she is ready to talk about the case, so would they just sit in awkward silence as they eat takeaway, the quiet hum of the TV in the background.

Not wanting to prolong the awkwardness any longerAmy walks back into her living room to find Jake sat on the sofa, sorting out the takeout containers; he had two plates set out as well as a mat that he was currently setting the food containers onto. Her tv was playing a rerun of friends in the background.

“Hey, thought I might as well start getting the food ready, I am officially starving.” He tells her without looking her way and Amy nods before coming to sit down beside him.

The pair spend the next hour eating their food, watching TV and talking about absolutely nothing. Jake even goes on a 10-minute ramble about how yes, Ross is a douche back whohas no respect for women but he is still hilarious at times and hassome of the best comedic moment of the show when you set that all aside, and Amy finds herself enjoying his company. It feels nice to just sit and talk about everything and nothing with someoneof a similar age; especially since the majority of her conversations now happen with a 2-year-old who may be very vocal butcan’t exactly hold an actual, intellectual conversation. It is also nice to talk to someone outside her family,Amy has never been a social butterfly, has always spent her life with just one or two friends rather than a big group; and a few years ago her best friend Kylie moved states for work so they now had limited conversations as well.

“So, are you feeling okay after today. I know it hit you pretty hard. I have never seen you so quiet, I missed you sending daggers my way and correcting my grammar.” Jake jokes after a while, when Amy’s opened up some of the beers and they are 3 episodes down on their friends marathon.

“It was weird I guess, I haven’t really felt anything like that since I first left the academy and joined the force; I thought I was passed the point where I let cases affect my work ethic but something about that family and the fact they were killed because they were not born here in the states, because they were born in another country. It just hit me more than I thought.” Amy tells him, she can blame the beer for the fact that she is opening up, because she has always hated showing any signs of weakness, especially around her work colleagues, and tomorrow she will probably curse herself for been weak in front of her partner. But it feels nice to tell someone about this, she doesn’t have a husband to rant to, her mom wouldn't be interested since she had tried to talk her out of police work when Lola came along, said it posed too many risks and she should look into getting a safer job. Her dad would be interested, he always enjoyed talking about police cases and stories; but she didn't really want to admit to her dad that she was affected by a case she worked at, she did not want her dad thinking she couldn't handle the job.

“Yeah, I get it, we all have certain things that we take harder than others. We all have weak moments, we aren’t robots so we can’t just brush everything off. It’s not irrational to be affected by a crime that I am guessing strikes close to home? We all have things that bother us, that is what makes us human; and it definitely doesn't make you any less of a good detective.” He tells her, and she’s struck by his words, by how understanding he is and how mature his words sound. 

This is a whole other side to her partner, and side that she likes. She has never had this, someone who is willing to talk to her about the ugly side of the job, the side that isn’t fun or exciting. She is used to his immature ways, his laid-back approach to work. But she likes this new side of Jake, and for the first time since she started at the nine nine she actually considers him a friend. She considers him a partner and feels like he would definitely have her back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. This is starting the story more and setting it all up. I don't consider myself the best at dialogue writing, or short, snappy dialogue anyway, so a lot of my story will be similar to this with the detail and thoughts over speech. (but I will still include speech and conversations)
> 
> Comments are always appreciated and welcomed, I love hearing what you think and feedback really helps as well. The next chapter shouldn't be too long, I just need to edit it and decided on cut of point. But hopefully it will be out by the end of the week.


	3. Pizza and Barbie Dolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Amy grow closer, and her daughter Lola develops a new best friend.

They work even better together after that night, they had already established a good work ethic together and it had been clear from the get go that their different perspectives worked well together in order to solve cases quickly and effectively even if both of them were reluctant to agree with this statement; but now they seemed even better and Amy was no longer worried about showing her weakness in front of him; sure she still liked to show she was a strong, capable detective that does not let the job get her down, but now she can also show that sometimes a case can hit her harder than others.

But she’s not the only one, that night Jake had opened up to her as well. After she explained that the particular case had hit her because she worried about her own family sometimes, because occasionally there is a voice that enters her head that her family originally came from Cuba and so they could very well be subject to these hate crimes, and that she saw her own family in the family that were killed.

Jake had nodded along, then told her that he understands where she’s coming from before explaining that when he takes on cases that involve victims who are targeted because of their sexuality, it affects him in the same way the hate crime had affected her, because he is bisexual and he knows that makes him open to these crimes as well.

Although his coming out has always generally been met with a warm response by friends and loved ones, smooth sailing of sorts; but he has still had some comments thrown at him in derogatory terms, in particular over social media.

This conversation was the most open he has ever been with her and Amy couldn’t help but feel glad that he was comfortable enough to open up to her about everything. She hadn't known about his sexuality up until that point, and she wasn't sure if the rest of the squad were aware of it, but she felt touched that Jake felt comfortable and safe enough to talk to her about it; that he wasn’t worried she would look at him differently or say something rude to him regarding his sexuality.

Even with this new dynamic between them, they go back to their usual ways in general, they still don’t really talk much about their personal lives at work, except for Jake occasionally asking her how Lola is, but they seem to have more to talk about when they go on stakeouts or out in the field just the two of them. They talk about music and tv and movies and all sorts, and Amy feels like she’s finally got the partner she always wanted back in the academy. A partner that she knows has her back and she can trust; it feels nice.

Three months later they are called onto a case, and it turns out the victim committed suicide because he was getting online hate regarding his sexuality. Jake doesn’t show any obvious signs that it is affecting him, and Amy isn’t sure if that’s because he’s so good at covering it up or because this one hasn’t hit him as hard or as much as anticipated. Maybe different situations affect him more than others and maybe with this case it hasn't hit as close to home as she thought it would.

But a small part of her thinks that he may just be good at covering up his emotion, she thinks back to the night when he turned up on her doorstep with food and company, and she wants to give him the same if possible. She can’t show up at his door, takeaway in hand, because of Lola; she couldn't ask her parents to take Lola for the night just so she can have some takeout with her partner, and she definitely can't show up at his door with Lola in tow. So instead she approaches him as they are leaving, they are the last two of the day shift to head out, Boyle and Diaz left earlier and Sarge had a day off today.

“Hey, I was wondering if you fancied coming over tonight, we can get takeout and watch crappy tv?” She asks, her voice is cautious as she gets his attention close to the elevator.

“Santiago are you asking me on a date.” He jokes with her, a wiggle of his eyebrows and a grin that he will obnoxiously sport every now and then. Amy can’t help but roll her eyes and his comment, but she grins as well despite her best efforts.

“I was just attempting to prove how much of an awesome partner I am, but if you want to call dinner with me and my energetic toddler a date then you are more than welcome.” She jokes back and surprises herself. It almost feels like she’s flirting with him, which is definitely not something she was intending to do. He’s just her male colleague who is also her friend, nothing more. She puts it down to the fact she's been out of the dating game for so long.

He agrees to her invitation, and so the two of them take his car - as she had travelled in on the underground today - as it makes sense that they both head straight back to hers instead of each going home and then Jake turning up at hers an hour or so later. They pick up food from a local pizza place that Amy has used before as it is only a block away from her apartment, it also means that she knows the food is good. Amy picks up a small portion of chips and chicken nuggets for Lola and then they order a large pepperoni pizza and multiple sides for her and Jake to share. Amy has a feeling she'll be eating leftovers for a week with the amount Jake has ordered them, she had thought for a moment he was going to order the entire menu.

Amy's brother Luis in the one who is looking after Lola, her parents had something going on and he had happily volunteered to spend his free time babysitting his niece. Luis pretty much greets her and Jake at the door, he has a hyperactive toddler on his hip and a raised eyebrow on his face at the sight of Amy walking through the door with company. Luckily for her though he does keep his mouth shut; Amy thinks it is probably for the benefit of Lola as he never used to hesitate before embarrassing her in front of friends when they were growing up. Amy asks if he would like to join them for dinner, but he declines their offer as he has got to get home to his own wife. Placing Lola into Amy's arms and heading out fairly swiftly.

Amy places her daughter back on the floor, telling her to say hello to Jake as she takes off her jacket and then takes the food from Jake so he can also shed his jacket. Lola says hello to Jake before she dives into a story, telling Amy and Jake all about her day as Amy heads into the kitchen to unload the food. Lola tells her mom and Jake all about day care and then her afternoon spent with her uncle afterwards. Lola has never been a shy girl, she will interact with anyone who gives her even just a small amount of attention. It was something Amy prided herself on, she was glad that her daughter wasn’t shy or reserved because Amy had been in school and in some way, she felt it held her back. She just hoped that her daughter would always remain this confident.

Lola does not hesitate at all in involving Jake into conversation and Jake doesn’t hold back either. He happily asks Lola all about her day and what she got up to. Once the food is plated up and ready to be eaten they migrate to the living room. It is a rare treat that Amy allows Lola to eat in the living room instead of at the table in the dining room, because she worries about spillages and stains; but she doesn't want to make Jake sit and eat pizza takeout at the table so she allows it tonight. On the rare occurrence that she does allow them to sit in the living room to eat its always on the carpet with a blanket down and this is something Lola knows by now; so she plans on putting the blanket down for Lola again tonight but then her and Jake to sit on the sofa. But much to her surprise, when she places the blanket down and Lola immediately sits down on it, Jake follows suit. He was talking to Lola as they all came back into the living room and sits down on the carpet without a moment’s hesitation when Lola does. So, Amy does as well.

Lola asks her mom if they can watch a movie while they eat their food, this consists of Jake asking Lola what her favourite movie is and then the two of them talking for five minutes about Disney movies until Lola finally settles on The Little Mermaid after Jake tells her it's one of his favourites. Lola seems absolutely enamoured by Jake and thrilled by the attention he is giving her which warms Amy's heart because she loves seeing her little girl so happy and it feels nice that it's someone who Amy is friends with that is giving Lola attention rather than a simple family member; and when she gets a fluttering in her stomach when Jake sings along to all the songs with Lola she simply puts it down to the fact its Lola's happiness that is causing this.

Once the movie is over, Amy stands up to begin washing up while Lola gets out her dolls to show Jake. Her partner offers to help her clean up, but the look Lola shoots her at the idea that Jake might not play dolls with her is enough for Amy to decline his offer and instead let him sit and play barbies with Lola. It doesn't take long to clean up since they had mainly eaten from the takeaway boxes; so, she just needs to get rid of all the empty cardboard boxes and clean up the beakers they used to drink from. She also gives the counter a quick wipe down as she doesn't want to disturb Lola and Jake too soon because from what she can hear across the apartment they are having a whale of a time, especially Lola whose shrieks of laughter keep filling Amy's ears.

Finally, she heads back into the living room to where the two are still situated. It is getting closer to Lola's bedtime, but she lets them continue their game for longer than Lola should really be awake. It's worth it because she can’t help but admire Jake and Lola playing their game; sitting down on the sofa she watches as her daughter laughs with delight and her face lights up as she acts out different scenarios with her dolls and Jake puts on different voices as he follows her fairly complicated story. It’s such a heart-warming scene that is unfolding in front of Amy's eyes and she hates to disrupt it. But eventually, when Lola starts yawning, she figures it is finally time to insist Lola heads to bed and so with a begrudging attitude, Lola admits defeat, says goodnight to her new best friend Jake and follows her mom to her bedroom for pyjamas and a story. Falling asleep as she asks her mom if Jake will come around again to play with her dolls. 

Jake is still in the living room when Amy finally turns out her daughter’s light and closes her bedroom door. He has switched from his position on the floor so that he is sat on the sofa; the TV is playing and Amy also notes that he's put Lola's dolls back into the box she stores them in and grabbed them both a beer from the fridge. Amy doesn't think about how weird it may seem that this is only Jake's second time at her apartment yet he already seems so comfortable here. Instead she smiles and sits down with him, they watch tv and drink beer like they do last time.

They start to engage in conversation after an episode of _Property Brothers_ ends, and Jake admits that the case had got to him a little bit, but not as much as he expected which surprised him but also made him wonder if he was starting to grow as a detective. From their they start a more light-hearted conversation, about some perps they've previously caught with funny names, or perps who they think fit into the weirdest crimes heading.  They continue the light-hearted conversation for a while but then the conversation switches to the topic of Lola. Jake compliments Amy on her daughter, telling her she's adorable and right credit to her; but then Jake broaches the subject of her father. He asks her what Lola's dad does and he asks it so casually with such innocence, like it’s no big deal and really it isn’t; why shouldn’t he ask about Lola’s dad, assume that he is present in Lola's life like any half decent father would be. Amy contemplates telling some lie of sorts, thinking of some job that would be the reason why he is not around much, try play it off like he works away. But Amy doesn't want to do that, doesn't want to think of some elaborate lie.

So, Amy tells him the truth instead. She tells him that Lola certainly wasn't planned, but she happened and there was nothing that could change that. They had not been dating long when she found out about the pregnancy and neither of them were even thinking about a long-term commitment with their relationship when they found out about the pregnancy. He definitely was not the guy she saw a future with. But they got married despite all this, they both knew that it was only because of the pregnancy and some family pressures, but they went through with it anyway. Then she had Lola and everything changed; he decided pretty soon into the Lola's life that it was all too much for him; that he couldn't handle the idea of been a dad and wanted more in life than just a wife and child. 

So, they got divorced within a year of the marriage, Amy had been embarrassed at the time of the split by how short lived the whole thing was, but now she knows it was the right thing, they never should have married because they didn't want that, neither of them. He had moved out, gone off on his own. At first, he kept in touch with them, he messaged her about Lola and would come and see her on a semi regular basis. But then these visits started to become less and less frequent; Amy would organise for him to see Lola on set days and he would be a no show or would phone Amy at last minute to cancel, give some daft excuse that made no sense.

Eventually it came to the point where he stopped answering her phone calls and no longer responded to her messages. He stopped reaching out about seeing Lola and then removed himself from social media all together. She last had contact with him 10 months ago, and it’s actually been closer to a year since she last saw him in person. She also tells him that Lola doesn’t even ask about him anymore, how her daughter already knows that her father isn’t going to show up for her. She tells Jake that since he came off social media, she has a feeling he isn’t even in New York anymore; how he’d talked about moving to LA in order to pursue a career in singing and Amy has a feeling he has completed the move.

Jake expresses his condolences on how it sucks that he did that to his family. He tells Amy that his own father left him and his mother when he was eight years old; how his father had been messing around with loads of different women behind his moms back for years, even before Jake was born, and then finally left them when he got sick of playing the family card. It left him and his mom in a sticky situation, they had trouble with finances and his mom had to work twice as hard to make sure they could keep living in their house and have food on their table. He admitted it was a lonely existence but he was thankful he had his nanna and Gina in his life to see him through.

He tells her that from what he has witnessed Lola seems happy and loved which is all that really matters. He tells her that maybe it was a small blessing in disguise that he decided this wasn’t for him so early in Lola’s life, that it might not actually affect her too much because she won’t remember much about her dad and how he abandoned them. Jake can remember the whole events that surrounded his dad leaving and it definitely affected his adolescence. Hopefully Lola’s young enough that she won’t be completely affected by this for a large portion of her life. She won’t suffer with abandonment or commitment issues like he had in his early twenties. Besides, if anyone can do the single mother job and absolutely crush it then it’s her.

Amy smiles at his comment and thanks him before they move on to talk about other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to publish. I had almost finished editing it on Thursday and then of course everything went to shit for approximately 30 hours and I was sidetracked with trying to help save our beloved show; which has thankfully been saved by and even better network that will treat it with the love and respect it deserves.
> 
> But anyway, I finally finished editing so hopefully there is no mistakes or errors with spelling etc.
> 
> Kudos are greatly appreciated and I would love to here any feedback you have in the comments.
> 
> I hope to get the next chapter out before the wedding but if I don't then have a Happy Peraltiago Wedding!!


	4. Hospital Visits and Cake Decorations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy gets an emergency phone call that results in Jake spending some one on one time with her daughter.

Jake's presence in Amy's apartment becomes something of a frequent source after that night. Jake will come around to Amy's apartment several nights a month, with or without the emotional baggage of a hard-hitting case, and they spend their time eating takeout, doing different activities with Lola and watching TV. They get into a routine, they arrange dates and times, organise food orders with each other and Amy enjoys the nights he comes around, finds herself looking forward to the nights she knows Jake will be coming around to keep her and Lola company; she had always wanted a partner who was also a friend, right from the moment she joined the academy, and now she finally feels like she has got that.

Jake is still just as childish and immature and he has always been, but it's like they have opened up a whole other side to each other, she has discovered that Jake is also caring, and kind. He can make her laugh and help her calm down after a hard case. Plus, Lola loves him, which is amazing to see, she has begun calling him Jakey which just makes Jake smile, and she is always asking her mom when he’s coming round to play, since he is always willing to join in the games Lola requests of him and Amy can’t help the warm feeling that spreads over her whenever Lola requests him.

A couple of months later, when she’s on shift just like every other wok day, she gets the phone call from one of her brothers. She feels herself go almost numb at the call, but she hears the basics. Her dads has had what they believe to be a heart attack and is currently in hospital where he is getting monitored and checked over; she picks up from her brother that their mom is panicking over the whole ordeal and she knows she needs to be there for her dad. She hangs up the phone and feels the panic and dread fill her own body, she definitely isn’t ready to lose her dad. She can’t lose him. He is the strongest man she has ever known, he’s a fighter and with over 30 years on the force under his belt, something as mundane as a heart attack cannot be what defeats him. 

Amy can feel the panic rise through her as she remains seated at her desk in the bullpen, and somehow from across their joining desks, Jake senses her panic. Amy is worried because she wants to be at the hospital with her dad but she has Lola. She does not want to take her daughter to the hospital, for her to see everyone so upset and scared because it will only frighten her. But it isn’t fair to leave her with Carlos, who’s babysitting her right now, because she knows that he will want to be there for their dad as well. So, her only option is to get home, take Lola off Carlos' hand and then stand by the phone for any news from her family. During this thought process Amy has pretty much drowned out the precinct, forgot her location, as she thinks through scenarios, about how she needs to speak with the captain.

But then suddenly Jake is by her side, drawing her back from her mind as he asks if she is okay with a look of concern, he asks if she wants to go somewhere more private to talk before taking her into the briefing room as Amy feels a very mild panic attack threatening to take over. It doesn't feel as large or overwhelming as some of her previous panic attacks and she's able to string sentences together as she explains to Jake that her dad is in hospital, that was her brother on the phone and he has had a heart attack. She tells him how she needs to go and release her brother from babysitting duties because at least one of them deserves to be with her dad. 

Jake tells her to breathe, to try and calm down, that he's going to go talk to McKinley for her while she's trying to get herself back together so that she can think strategically. Amy manages to calm her breathing and start thinking things through, she isn't going to take Lola to the hospital, it would just worry her and make her upset and that was not something she wanted to do. Yes, it would be nice to be with her dad in this situation but her daughter needed her first and since becoming a mother, Lola is always her number one priority, no matter what.

Jake returns a few minutes later with a glass of cold water for Amy to drink, before shocking her by telling her that McKinley has agreed to give them both the rest of the day off, meaning he can drive her home and then if she wants to go see her dad in hospital he is more than happy to stay with Lola so she can visit her dad without the worry of Lola.

Amy is surprised by Jake's offer, as well as a little hesitant. Jake has spent plenty of time with Lola over the last few months, but it has never been without Amy present. Even if she's not in the same room, she has always been in the apartment. He is great with Lola, she can’t deny that, but can she really trust him to stay and be in charge of Lola while she heads to the hospital, not really knowing how long she could be there for. But then, her brain contradicts, she also knows that she would trust Jake with her life, she knows he has got her back and she knows in her heart that he would never let anything happen to Lola. That he would risk himself before Lola.

They head back to her apartment together, Jake driving his car since Amy had travelled in on the subway today. He tells her that he is sure everything will be fine with her dad, because if her dad is even half as strong as she is then he is definitely going to pull through; Amy feels the initial panic she felt disappear, and although there is still worry in her mind, Jake is doing an excellent job of reassuring her and trying to take her mind off it all.

They talk about Lola and any essentials Jake needs to know while looking after her, since Amy has agreed it would be best to go to the hospital for a few hours to check on her dad so that she isn’t worried all night and therefore subvertly passing that worry onto Lola. She tells Jake where he can find all emergency numbers, first aid kits and the spare apartment keys that she keeps in her kitchen drawer for which ever family member is babysitting to use – as she couldn’t see the point in getting eight keys to her apartment cut for her parents and brothers. She would be impressed with his ability to distract her if she hadn't had so much on her mind in regards to looking after Lola.

They arrive at her apartment and Jake follows Amy up, she's decided it will be best to head straight to the hospital with her brother Carlos rather than going in a little while on her own, and Jake is here now to stay with Lola. Carlos greets her with his own worried expression, clearly concerned for their father as well. Amy explains that Jake is going to look after Lola, who had been playing on the carpet when they arrived but has now moved to join her mom. Amy lifts her daughter onto her hip, giving her a tight hug because it is clear from Lola's expression and demeanour that she has picked up on the concern her brother is feeling and the vibe surrounding the adults in the room. She hopes her daughter starts feeling better soon and if her conversation with Jake in the car ride over is anything to go by she is sure he will do an excellent job at distracting Lola and taking her mind of why her mom and Uncle seemed worried.

She tells Lola that her and Uncle Carlos need to go run an errand, but that Jake is going to stay with her until they get back and so she needs to be a good girl and not cause Jake any trouble. Lola nods along, but Amy doesn't miss the slight worry that crosses Lola's face and Amy knows her daughter has picked up on the fact that her mom isn't just running a small errand and that there is something bigger going on. She is quiet as well, normally she is talking Jake’s ear off the moment he walks through the door but now she isn’t even muttering a word, just head gestures.

Amy gives Lola another hug, who wraps her arms around her mom's neck for an even tighter hug, and then with slight reluctance hands her daughter over to Jake who takes Lola from her with a look of reassurance, placing the toddler on his own hip as Lola wraps her arms around Jake's neck and rests her head onto his shoulder. Amy had worried Lola would resist with her current demeanour, but her daughter clearly understands that even if she doesn’t want her mom to go, she needs to let her. Amy says another goodbye, then follows an urgent Carlos out the apartment, leaving Jake alone with her daughter for the very first time.

Four of her brothers are already there when her and Carlos arrive at the hospital, they are huddled around their mother in the waiting room as they wait for the results from the tests they are conducting on her dad to determine what has happened and if they can see him. They wait a little under an hour, in which time her remaining brothers arrive, until a nurse returns with the good news that their dad is going to be just fine, what they had initially believed to be a very minor heart attack had not actually been that; their dad had simply put a bit too much strain on his heart which had caused him to pass out. They want to keep him in overnight for more observations, but they felt confident enough that he will be more than capable of heading home tomorrow; but they do recommend that he makes some changes to his lifestyle, including a healthier diet and attempting to kick his smoking habit. Amy knows from her own previous experience that this is hard but she hopes her dad will take this advice onboard and at least attempt it.

They spend another couple of hours going in to see her dad and spend time with him before visiting hours are over. Jake has been texting her updates throughout the day, letting her know that Lola was back to her perky self and everything was going well, he had even sent her a few snapchats to show her daughter happy and playing which made her feel more comfortable about been at the hospital rather than at home. He reassured her that he was fine staying with Lola and to take her time and not feel pressured into coming home and Amy feels she doesn't appreciate Jake as much as she should.

It’s almost 8pm before she returns home, Carlos had given her a lift home since he had driven them to the hospital. He had also dropped their mom off and promised he would be back in the morning to pick her up and take her to the hospital to discharge their dad since their mother didn't drive and it was better to get their dad home that way rather than in a taxi. Once she is finally dropped off at her apartment building, Jake has been on babysitting duties for almost six hours and she feels guilty that she had left him that long even with his reassurance. She thanks her brother for the ride before heading upstairs, briefly realising she hadn't text Jake to let him know they had left the hospital and that she was on her way home.

Amy unlocks the door ready to greet her daughter and partner, it's close to Lola's bedtime and for the first time in a long time she hopes her daughter hasn't fallen asleep earlier than her routine because she wants a little time to spend time with her before bed, plus even though Jake had said Lola was fine now, she wanted to see with her own eyes that her daughter hadn't picked up on the nervous vibes too much.

As she enters the apartment she is greeted with the smell of freshly baked cakes; it is a smell that she grew up with as a child, since her mom was an avid baker, always baking them homemade biscuits, cakes and other sweet treats, as it was much more money efficient for her since she had eight children to provide for. However, the smell was not something she was used to smelling in her own apartment. Amy wasn't a baker, not at all, her cooking skills were basic at best and her baking skills were non-existent, in fact she is fairly certain she's never baked a single thing in this apartment.

That been said, the smell greets her like a soft hug, spreading her with a sense of warmth, something which she accepts happily after the day she has had. She moves further into the house after removing her coat and shoes, leaving them by the door where she notes that Jake's are also sitting. The apartment is fairly quiet but she can hear the voice of her daughter and it's coming from the kitchen so Amy follows the sound.

She rounds the corner into her kitchen and that is where she finds both Jake and her daughter. Jake is stood at the kitchen counter while Lola is sat on top of it. The first thing Amy takes note of is that Lola is dressed in her favourite Princess costume - Princess Rapunzel - and that Jake is wearing one of Lola's many Princess tiaras along with some makeup which makes Amy let out a soft laugh which is barely audible.

The second thing she notices is that the pair are both extremely focused on decorating numerous amounts of fairy cakes that seem to be littering all of her kitchen worktops, along with the fact that the kitchen is ultimately pitted in flour and other baking ingredients. If the scene in front of her wasn't so heart-warming then she might be more annoyed at the state of her kitchen, but instead she just finds the whole scene extremely comforting. 

The two have not yet realised she is stood in the doorway and so she coughs loud enough to gain their attention. Both Jake and Lola's heads snap up at the sound, Lola's face immediately lighting up at the sight of her mother stood there; Amy is also pretty sure that Jake's cheeks turn slightly pink in colour, although it's hard to tell as he is wearing a large amount of blusher, and it looks like the cheap, fake makeup Lola uses so it's bright against his skin. Now that he is stood up right, Amy can also see multiple beaded necklaces wrapped around his neck and he's also wearing one of Lola's fairy tutus, he looks ridiculous and Amy lets another chuckle leave her mouth. 

“Momma look, we made cakes.” Lola tells her excitedly as she reaches towards Jake who quickly lifts her down so she that can go running towards her mom who scoops her up in a big crushing hug.

“I can see that.” Amy replies with a glint in her eye as she steps closer towards the counter with Lola on her hip, smirking at Jake who she can now see has a pink dusting on the tips of his ears, and that definitely wasn’t the makeup.

“They smell lovely; did you make all these by yourself?” Amy asks, looking at her daughter with a soft smile as she bounces her on her hip slightly earning a small giggle.

“Jakey helped me, but he let me mix it all together and he let me lick some of the bowl. It was yummy.” Lola tells Amy, looking pleased with herself. 

“Oh wow, that was nice of him. Have you been well behaved for Jake, sweetie?” She asks, but she’s looking at Jake who nods his head in a confirmation of her daughter’s behaviour. Not that she ever doubted her daughter would be on her best behaviour.

“Yes Momma, I’m always good.” Lola tells her in a matter of fact way, squirming in Amy’s arms to be put back down before moving back round to Jake, lifting her arms up in a silent request for him to lift her back up to her place on the counter, which he does without question.

“Would you like to help us decorate them Mommy? We are putting on loads of coloured icy and sprinkles.” Lola asks, and Amy agrees because even though she knows its edging dangerously close to when Lola should be in bed, she figures one night won’t hurt especially when she’s happy and Amy hasn’t seen her all day. Amy needs time with her daughter, that’s the way Amy rationalises her decision to join Lola and Jake; and so Amy spends the rest of the night decorating cakes with her daughter and Jake. They make a mess, especially when Lola thinks it will be funny to throw some of the sprinkles at her mom like confetti, but they all have a laugh together and Amy feels better than she has all day; her thoughts of her dad lying in a hospital bed are momentarily pushed to the back of her mind as she enjoys the company of her daughter and her partner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There go, another new chapter and more Lola/Jake bonding. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Just to let you know in regards to the timeline of the story. It's following a similar timeline to the show, so that means i'm following the idea that Amy joined the nine nine 3 years before Holt joined, which is why it is still Captain McKinley in charge. As this fic continues it will follow a similar timeline to the show, but mainly in terms of time frames over main events as I'll be eliminating certain events that happened in the show from this fic if I don't think they fit in with the overall timeline.
> 
> Also, because this was initially intended as a oneshot fic that followed throughout Lola's life to adulthood. There isn't really a lowborn or anything like that, things go at a bit of a faster pace than they maybe would have had this intended to be a multi-chapter fic. I looked into changing it to slower burn when I changed it to a multi-chapter but I get the pace and the main focus of where I wanted to be with this story was still the same so I kept it.
> 
> But any ho, thanks for listening to my ramblings and comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated.


	5. Birthday Celebrations and Drunk Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy joins the squad for a night of drinks and socialising on her 30th birthday.

After the day Amy spent at the hospital with her dad while Jake looked after Lola for hours, there seems to be a notable shift in their relationship. Thankfully, her dad makes a full recovery and he even seems to be in better health than he ever was after returning home. He has also managed to keep up with the health suggestions the doctor had made, which including eating healthier and cutting down on his smoking. Much to everyone’s pleasure.

However, now that Jake has spent the day alone with Lola, everything has changed between them not just Jake and Amy but Jake and Lola too. Jake starts offering to babysit Lola more and more, he is offering to look after Lola on days when he is off work and Amy is on shift. He will offer to go take Lola off her family members hands on nights that she wants to stay at the precinct a little longer because she's got tough cases to crack or is attempting to keep on top of her paperwork.

Amy felt bad in the beginning, felt like she was taking advantage of him because babysitting her child is definitely not part of his job as her partner. She doesn’t accept his offer every time he makes it, because she knows her family enjoy spending time with Lola just as much, plus someone is bound to say something if Jake picking Lola up becomes a regular occurrence. But Jake always seems more than happy to offer and spend time with Lola, she can tell he isn’t doing this purely to be a good partner but because he genuinely enjoys it. He tells her they have fun together and Lola is always thrilled at the opportunity to spend more time with her new favourite person, Jakey.  

They still have their takeaway nights, in fact they become more frequent, with Jake sometimes staying for food several times a week, staying behind to have a few drinks and talk with Amy once Lola has gone to bed. Then other times he will cook them dinner instead. After the night when Amy came home to find her kitchen covered in freshly baked fairy cakes, it has become a regular occurrence for Jake to bake with Lola. The pair will often spend their time together baking a range of different cakes, biscuits and pies which Lola is constantly thrilled about. 

Then one night, after he had babysat Lola for the afternoon while Amy went into work, she had returned home to an offer from Jake to cook dinner for the three of them and it turns out that he is actually a good cook. Jake tells her that he spent a lot of time with his own nana throughout his childhood, his dad was absent and his mom needed to work double shifts to make ends meet; and so during his time with his nana she taught him all her baking and cooking secrets; this meant that Jake was now a pretty decent chef himself. 

The pair get themselves into a rhythm and it’s nice, she enjoys spending time with Jake outside of work. He has gone from her annoying, immature work colleague to one of her closest friends in the eighteen months that she has been working at the nine-nine. Her brothers are teasing her about it constantly, telling her that she is officially hooked on Jake and that she should just stop overthinking everything and finally start boning him. It just makes her roll her eyes and cringe at the same time.

But it's not just her brother who have made comments regarding her relationship with Jake, her parents will raise their eyebrows at the situation her and Jake currently have. They make snide comments about how close the pair have become, about how it extends across multiple work place boundaries, with her mom explaining that she should be careful when it comes to how much time Jake spends with Lola because she might become too attached.

Amy knows that her parents do have a point, she has thought about what it would mean if Jake were to up and leave, the consequences it could lead to. He could very easily leave their lives without much thought, he may find a job in some other state, a better more prestige job, or start a new relationship with someone that could therefore prevent him spending as much time with Amy and Lola as he does. If he were to start a relationship she couldn’t imagine him wanting to spend as much time as he does now with his work partner and her daughter, plus she can't imagine a potential girlfriend or boyfriend would want his time divided either. There is nothing keeping him here, not really. But at the same time, she likes what her and Jake have going, she enjoys his company, Lola enjoys his company, plus children are often close to their parent’s friends right; there isn't anything wrong with that right?

But at the same time, it’s not just her family who have made comments about her and Jake, and their relationship; her best friend Kylie has mentioned the two of them as well, asked about it turning into something more, claiming that a man who spends so much time with her and her daughter would surely not be opposed to a romantic relationship. Amy always brushes it off because she can't fantasise about that possibility, she swore of dating a long time ago. Plus, been friends with someone is completely different than been in a relationship with someone, you don’t have that added commitment.

Rosa has made an off handed comment as well, not so much about their relationship, but a simple comment about how strange it was that Jake hadn’t dated much in the past year, but it still struck Amy a little. Amy hadn’t thought about Jake’s dating life until that moment, but she did note that Rosa was actually correct. Jake hadn’t talked about meeting anyone recently, not even talking about bad dates, something that had been a favourite topic of his when she was first transferred to the nine-nine. If Rosa was picking this up then it meant he wasn't dating without telling her, because she knew he used to bore Rosa with the details of his sex life as well. Plus, she sometimes thought she could see him looking at her across their desks, see him from the corner of her eye staring at her with a fond look on his face. But she always dismissed it as her mind playing tricks on her.

Then suddenly it is her 30th birthday and Amy briefly wonders where the time went. Jake asks her if there was any possibility that she could get someone to look after Lola on her birthday since it's a Friday and he thought it would be fun for the squad to go out for some drinks with her to celebrate her birthday, especially since 30 is quite a milestone age.

Amy was aware that the squad would often go out for drinks together after solving cases or for birthdays slash other celebrations. She had never joined them, not because she wasn't invited, but because she always had Lola to think about and she felt guilty leaving her with family to go out for drinks, she wasn't as lucky as Terry who had a partner at home who could watch the kids every now and then when he wanted to spend time out with his friends. 

For the first time Amy finds herself really wanting to join the squad for a night out, she had definitely grown close to the members of the squad in the past year, she felt she was on good terms with everyone - except maybe Gina who still bullied her continuously about her behaviourism's and mannerisms - and she wanted to finally spend some time with them outside of the precinct, and if she didn’t agree to go out with them for her birthday then when will she actually go out with them?

She talks to her parents and after almost begging them, she manages to persuade her parents to have Lola for the night, it mainly works because she manages to get her dad on side who then helps her persuade her mom. This is not the first time her parents have had Lola for the night, because every now and then she is required to work a night shift just like everyone else or she has to stay late into the night to help with a case and so Lola staying with her grandparents is the most logical thing at that point, but this will be the first time they are keeping their granddaughter overnight so that Amy can do something sociable. 

The day of her birthday arrives; she has the day off work somehow, so she spends the morning with Lola who has bought her - through her parents - some new stationary and binders. Her dad comes to pick his grand-daughter up at little after three and Lola is so excited about the prospect of having a sleepover with her grandparents that doesn't even seem phased by saying goodbye to her mom, Amy finds this amusing. 

She gets ready to head to the bar, the plan is to meet the squad at their usual bar, Shaw's, since some are working today and others have the day off. She knows that this is a more casual get together than anything so she doesn't need to dress up; but it feels nice to have the opportunity to wear something other than her pantsuits or yoga pants and so she settles on a dress. She also decides to wear her hair loose and add a little makeup since the opportunity to spend time with friends is far and few between at the moment.

She gets a taxi to the bar, she is not due to pick Lola up from her parents until the following afternoon; this will be the first time in a long time she can drink without having to cut down because she's got a toddler to deal with in the earlier hours of the morning, therefore she doesn't want to have to be limited by having to drive.

Charles and Terry are already at the bar when she arrives, neither of them had been on shift today and they each buy her a drink as a birthday treat and then they all retreat to a booth in a more secluded part of the bar.

The trio talk about work for a little bit before Gina arrives, greeting everyone with a brief smile before setting up camp at the bar as she flirts with the bartender behind it, the one who is at least 10 years younger than her. Jake, Rosa, Hitchcock and Scully all arrive together since they have been on shift all day and so they left the precinct together and came down. They all buy Amy a birthday drink, although she does insist that she has some soft drinks between the alcohol as she wants to pace herself and make sure that she doesn’t get too drunk before the night have even begun.

They all spend the night talking about different things and getting to know each other better, it’s clear that they are used to spending time together at the bar with each other from the conversations they have. But Amy never feels left out or unwelcome by the group; up until this moment she felt that there was only really Jake that she knew actual personal things about. With everyone else is what just small little pieces of information she knew, like how Terry devoted to his wife and new born girls, how Boyle had got divorced a year earlier and was still grieving this with a slightly unhealthy crush on Rosa; who was still as closed off about her personal life as ever.

Terry is the first to leave, wishing her goodnight with a hug and a birthday card from him and his girls; already itching to get home to see them and make sure Sharon isn’t too tired or run down. Amy admires how Terry is regarding his wife and tin daughters. Gina goes next, Amy isn’t sure when the other girl left since she spent the majority of the night drinking at the bar surrounded by boys. In fact she doesn’t actually notice she has gone until Jake makes a comment about how she left with some hot dude and Rosa hands him 10 bucks.

Hitchcock and Scully are next; technically they don’t leave the bar, they simply fall asleep in the booth at around 9pm and become dead to the world; leaving just the other four.

They have fun together as they spend the rest of the night drinking and socialising; Amy notices that Charles is actually really funny and sweet when he isn’t pinning after Rosa and Amy understands why he is Jake’s best friend. He asks her about Lola, how she is doing and everything and it’s nice to have an actual real conversation with him.

As the night continues and Rosa drinks more and more she also becomes a little looser and open; she doesn’t talk about anything personal but Amy spots a smile on her face a few times and she notices the feisty brunette is letting some of her guard down. The more drinks Amy gets, she becomes more confident around her friends and feels more natural with them.

At some point she challenges Rosa to a game of darts; and the girls attempt to play while the boys laugh at how the alcohol in their system is clearly decreasing their ability to aim the darts at the dart board. They both keep trying to have an actual game, and it isn’t till Amy very nearly throws a dart through the bar window that the boys recommend they call it a night with the darts to ensure they don’t accidentally break public property.

They stay at Shaw’s until it is last orders, just having a laugh and enjoying each other’s company. Amy really enjoys the chance to spend time with adults who aren’t her family, to have real conversations that don’t involve princesses or singing; and as they continue to buy her more drinks for her birthday Amy feels herself becoming more and more tipsy and therefore lowering her inhabitations.

By the time they are leaving the bar and stumbling into the sidewalk, Amy is definitely a little drunk, she is still aware of her surroundings and her actions, but she knows that her consciousness has definitely lowered as well. Thanks to their competitive round of darts which had included shots; Rosa is also a little drunk with the boys soberer than the two of them.

Rosa and Charles bid them farewell and head in their own direction, Amy thinks she briefly hears Charles’ ask Rosa if she needs help getting home in which she very angrily insists she is more than capable of finding her own way home. Amy feels sorry for Charles, it was a very sweet offer but everyone knows Rosa should probably be the one making sure he gets home safe and sound.

“Come on birthday girl, think it’s time to get you home as well.” Jake tells her, and when she looks over she notices he has a cab waiting with the door open. Amy smiles at him and thanks him before heading over; stumbling a little and then almost tripping over her feet when she reaches him. He manages to catch her before she loses balance and then proceeds to help her into the back of the car as he laughs at her, he climbs in behind her, rattling off her address as he explains that he needs to make sure she gets back to her apartment in one piece.

Amy is struck by his behaviour; a wave of emotion washes over her as she appreciates the sat by her side. When she was first partnered with Jake after her transfer, she had felt annoyed and worried that he would be exactly like all the other arrogant white male detectives she had come across; but he has shown her time and time again that he is so much more than that. He actually cares for both her and her daughter; wants to help them out when he can.

Thanks to the alcohol she has consumed, without her sober self, niggling at her rational side of her brain, telling her what a huge mistake this could be, she finds herself leaning over a kissing him, right there in the back of the taxi that is currently taking them back to her place.

For a few moments Jake reciprocates her kiss, leaning into it and letting his hands come up to rest on her hips; it feels good, natural almost and for a millisecond Amy wonders why she hasn’t done this before now, her hands slide up to his hair as she feels the confidence inside her growing, but the second she tries to deepen the kiss it’s like a switch goes off in Jakes mind and suddenly he is pulling away.

Amy feels rejected and dishearten and humiliated all at once, like a huge boulder has come out of nowhere and hit her, crushing her, because oh shit shit shit, she has just kissed Jake and then he has pulled away, what has she done. She has ruined it between them forever. His hands remain on her hips as he starts talking, his voice quiet but Amy still hears every word.

“Not here Ames, not like this.” He says and Amy isn’t sure what his words mean, if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Is he saying that he wants her but just not in the back of the taxi? Or that he doesn’t want this at all. Amy’s brain tells her it’s the latter.

Amy doesn’t remember anything else from the night of her 30th birthday. She remembers the taxi ride home and the kiss she shared with Jake – although part of her wishes she didn’t remember that - and then there is nothing between that and waking up the next morning; it is like her mind has been wiped somehow.

When she does eventually wake up the next morning, her head is pounding and she guesses that the alcohol hit her more than she thought it had or would - but it makes sense that it would hit her, with the exception of a few beers with Jake on nights that he comes over, she hasn’t really drunk since she found out about Lola.

She wakes up feeling a little hazy, trying to recall the nights events and how she got home. Amy notes that she is still dressed in the outfit that she was wearing last night, but she is currently under the covers of her bed and her shoes have been discarded somewhere.

As she takes in her current situation, the events and memories of the night start to flood back, she had a fantastic time with the squad, it had been such a good laugh and she had felt happy and carefree with them. But with them memories also came the memory of the kiss that happened in the back of a taxi, she remembers how she somehow felt brave enough to lean over and kiss her partner, how he had momentarily kissed her back before pulling away and effectively telling her no, which had resulted in her feeling embarrassed and mortified by the whole ordeal.

She can’t seem to remember anything else, and she is worried about the possibility that she did something stupid, more so than the kiss, something that might mean she is no longer friends with the man that she would likely consider her best friend at this point in time.

She finally sits up, wincing at the stabbing pain in her head, she can smell the lingering smell of sweat and alcohol on her body and knows she needs to take a shower so she doesn’t smell like an alcoholic when she goes for Lola, but with the pain in her head she feels it would probably be best if she took some aspirin first; try and get rid of the hangover before Lola returns in the overly excited manner she normally does.

So, she climbs out of the bed, feeling a little dizzy as she stands and cursing herself for allowing herself to drink too much last night, before leaving her bedroom on wobbly feet and heading into the main hallway which separates hers and Lola’s bedrooms from the rest of the apartment.

As she enters the hallway, Amy is fairly sure she can smell fresh coffee filling her apartment and her stomach does a double flip as curse words start rushing around in her head. She should not be able to smell fresh coffee, not if she is the only one in the apartment; she edges forward, her cop instincts on high alert, despite her rational mind reminding her that surely no one dangerous would break into her apartment and then start brewing up a pot of fresh coffee, would they? Rounding the corner into the main space, she comes face to face with none other than the one person she was hoping not to see until she had a clear head. 

Jake. 

He must hear her footsteps as she entered, because he looks up at her as she enters, a small sheepish smile on his face. He is wearing the same outfit he was wearing last night at Shaw's, his hair is a little ruffled and sticking up in weird places, he also looks shattered, like he didn't exactly have a good night sleep. Dread momentarily fills her, surely, she didn’t sleep with her partner last night, surely, she would remember if that happened. She feels like a deer in headlights at that moment. 

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind that I crashed on the couch. You were pretty out of it by the time we got back here. I'm not sure if you remember much, but when I helped you get into the apartment, you got really upset, threw up several times in your bin and then passed out on the kitchen floor. I managed to get you off the kitchen floor and into your bed but it felt weird leaving you alone after how upset you were, plus I didn’t want you chocking on your own vomit in the middle of the night or something. I figured I would just spend the night on the sofa, see how you were this morning. You look dreadful.” Jake tells her with a small chuckle, and Amy smiles slightly at his comment, same old Jake. He turns around to pour her a mug of coffee, which allows her time to comb through his words. Why did he have to be so kind and nice to her all the damn time? 

“Thank you.” She says quietly as she takes the coffee and the two aspirin that he hands her, gulping the tablets down in a hope to finally clench down the headache that is still pounding.  Although something tells her the aspirin might not help with the headache.

“No problem. I was also kind of hoping we could maybe have a little talk about some stuff, about everything regarding last night. Before your parents bring Lola back and more importantly before we leave it too long and make it awkward at work.” Jake tells her as he plays with his hands. Amy can tell he’s nervous, more nervous than she’s ever seen him, he is usually so confident in everything, but he always plays with his hands or something he can get his hands on when he becomes nervous, it’s part of his ADHD, and it is making her feel nervous as well.

She has a feeling that she knows what he wants to talk about and she understands that after what happened last night it needs to be said, but Amy's not sure how she will react to his confession. She is certain it is a rejection, especially after last night in the taxi, surely there is no way Jake wants anything more than friendship with her, he is likely wanting to just let her down gently, in a way that hopefully won’t affect their work ethic. She feels like she probably looks as white as a ghost, blood drained from her face, but nods for him to continue talking because she knows herself that it is probably best to clear the air now rather than later when things aren’t so fresh and therefore may be 10 times more awkward.

“Look last night, I think we both know that you had more to drink than you probably wanted and therefore you were a little tipsy by the end of the night, so when you kissed me, I really did not want you to do anything that you would wake up and regret because that has happened to me in the past and it's not the best feeling in the world, which is why I pulled away. I didn’t want a kiss between us to be something you saw as some drunken mistake.

With that been said I think I need to finally tell you the truth, I've been holding this in for a while, I was looking for a sign, an opportunity to somehow tell you, but I always chickened out because it never felt right, I could never get up the courage but I figured now or never right. 

It’s just, look I know things are a little more complicated and different with you. You have your daughter, your family, your job. You are doing such a great job with everything, and I never wanted to step on your toes or make you feel pressured or anything but I just, I think you need to know that...” he pauses for a moment, taking a breather like he’s building up his courage; he isn’t looking at her, he's looking at the kitchen counter instead, at his own coffee mug and Amy waits with baited breath for him to continue.

“I really like you Amy, and not just in a friends kind of way or in a colleague way like we are right now. But in a romantic stylez kind of way. In a way in which I would like to date you, to have a relationship with you. However, I know this different for you, you have your daughter, and look I absolutely adore Lola, I think she is amazing and loving and such a credit to you Ames, she really is. And I completely understand that she always comes first no matter what, that she is the most important person in your life and that you have to put her needs and everything in front of yours, I understand that and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I get that it’s hard for you, to think about possible relationships when you are a single mother and you have a child who definitely does not deserve to have multiple different people entering and exiting her life constantly, especially after everything that has happened in regards to her own dad. So, I totally understand all this and I would complete understand if you don’t want to see if we have something between us, something bigger than a friendship, because you are worried that if it doesn’t work out then Lola will get hurt because the thought of hurting Lola is awful and I never want to be the source of her feeling upset.

I want you to know that I promise, no matter what happens after today, or whatever. You will still be my best friend, because I love spending time with you and Lola. I enjoy our nights in watching Disney movies as we eat takeout. I enjoy it all and I still want that, I still want our friendship and I don’t want to lose you or Lola from my life.

And yes, I really like you and I would like to try see what could happen between us because I have a feeling that we could have something great. But I understand if you don’t want to take the risk, because you are not in the same situation as me, it’s not just yourself you are putting on the line. Nothing will change between us if you don’t want it to, but I needed to tell you how I feel because after last night, I thought if I don’t take the chance then I have nothing to gain, but if I did take the chance the maybe just maybe I had everything to gain.

And if not then we go back to how we currently are but at least we can both move on, we won’t be stuck in a situation of what ifs, because honestly no one can ever really move on if they are constantly thinking about a possible situation. So yes Amy, I really like you, but I understand if this is not something you want.” Jake finally finishes and it's almost like he's a little out of breath from the multitude of the speech, and Amy is also left speechless because this was the last thing she had expected to hear from Jake this morning.

Yes, of course she had briefly entertained the idea of them becoming something more than just friends. But it had always just been some elaborate fantasy; something that only came out on the days that she was feeling extra lonely, on the days when Lola would do something amazing or make her laugh about something and she wished she had someone to share that with, just like she had always planned. Up until last night it was nothing more than part of her imagination and yet now, in the space of 24 hours she had kissed her best friend slash work partner and that had resulted in him confession his romantic feelings for her. She was just so shell shocked.

“Look I get that was a lot to take in, I piled so much on you there and you will probably need some time to think about everything and digest the speech I just give you. This isn’t something that can be put aside and treated lightly because it could potentially be this big thing. Plus, I know you’ve got to go get Lola from your parents and knowing you, you’ll probably want to shower and everything before then. So, I'm going head out, leave you to get everything sorted and I will see you are work on Monday.

And Amy, please don’t feel pressured to say anything about this until you are ready, like I said, I understand the situation and if you need some time then you got it. I am here as your friend and your partner first and foremost, ‘Kay.” He speaks into the silence once again, and Amy finds herself just nodding along because she’s still so stunned, not only by Jake's speech but by how mature he is currently being. Jake never struck her as someone who would be so mature and open about his feelings. Jake simply grabs his shoes and coat before heading out. He pauses in the doorway though, turning back round to face a very stunned Amy.

“But Ames, just so you know. If you decided you wanted to take the risk then I’m all in, completely and whole heartedly in.” He adds on before he’s gone and Amy’s left with his words echoing around her head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, with the nature of this story and how it was intended as a one shot, I am currently continuing to write the fanfic as if it was a one shot and then editing it down into chapters. So between my time I am writing more content for later chapters and then trying to edit this part. And I found it hard to edit this part because it's such an important part of the story. 
> 
> I wasn't sure where to finish this chapter, at first I was going to stop it when she kisses Jake in the taxi and have the part with jake's confession as a separate chapter. But then confession felt to short for a stand alone chapter and I couldn't see a way to extend it; and it didn't really fit as part of the next chapter I have planned. So I added them together.
> 
> Anyway, once again thanks for reading, comments and kudos greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Also; I wasn't originally going to publish this, but I've decided I want to, so I am on tumblr if anyone has any questions they would rather ask me on there. My username is mrjacobsantiago :)


	6. Internal Monologues and Feelings Confessed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy overthinks and stresses about Jake's confession.

Amy really needs someone to talk to about everything, the only problem is, Amy doesn't really know who she can talk to. As she comes to the conclusion that she needs to talk this out with someone, she also comes to the conclusion that in the last 18 months, Jake has become exactly the person who Amy would want to talk this over with. But that just isn't an option for her because even though she knows he would probably sit down and talk with her about this. She knows that she needs to do this herself, without Jake. But she could use a little guidance from someone else. 

Amy’s brothers are definitely out of the question, there is no way she can even fathom the thought of discussing her possible love life with one of her brothers. They are a close family that’s for sure, but not close enough to talk about feelings and relationships, and besides, with their latest’s comments and snide remarks; Amy knows they will just tease her menacingly about the relationship. She briefly considers talking to one of her three sisters-in-law, but she isn't sure she trusts them enough to not blab to her brothers about the situation. Accidental or not.

Her best friend Kylie is also out of the question, because Kylie is already convinced that Amy is sleeping with Jake, and always tells her that she doesn't believe her when Amy tells her this is not true. So, Amy knows that she'll probably just say something along the lines of 'you are sleeping together might as well make it official' or not take the conversation seriously. Her parents are also out of the question because once again, they are a close family but not that close. Plus, she knows that her mom and dad are still secretly holding out hope that she will reunite with Rafael. Her parents are by no means old fashioned in their views of society and the world around them; but when it comes to certain things they can be traditional with how they like things.

One of these traditions is the idea of marriage and children. Amy had found it hard to tell her parents that her and Rafael were getting a divorce so soon after getting married and having Lola; her mom could often be quoted saying, _Cuban's do not get divorced,_ and Amy had saw the disappointment in both her parents faces when she told them that the marriage just wasn't working. Because of this, Amy has a feeling that they wouldn't take the news of her considering a relationship with her partner particularly well and she has a feeling that they might potentially try and talk her out of it, tell her it isn't smart to get involved with someone who is not her daughters biological father.

Amy can completely understand her parents perspective; Amy definitely did not consider herself as a traditional person but she didn't like the fact she was raising her daughter as a single mother out of wedlock with no father in the picture, the idea of a traditional family, one similar to her own family she grew up with, was something she had always wanted. It doesn’t help that Rafael isn’t in the picture at all. Amy knew there was zero chance of anything ever happening between her and Rafael ever again; she hadn't been too crazy about him to begin with, and now he had been absent from Lola's life for too long, so she could not fathom the idea of a becoming involved with him. She would never prevent Lola from having a potential relationship with her father, that wouldn't be fair on Lola. She never asked for her daughter to not have her father in her life, Amy always wanted Rafael to be involved, with or without them two been together. But she knew deep down she would never be able to forgive him for just abandoning them. Sadly, for some reason her parents still think he could be redeemed.

Amy knows that starting a relationship with Jake could not also cause serious shifts in her own life, but could cause serious ramifications for Lola as well; something which is constantly going round and round in Amy's head. The benefits of starting a possible relationship with Jake is that he has already established a relationship with Lola. Lola already loves Jake, she constantly asks Amy when he will be coming over to spend time with them. Amy isn't blind, she watches them interacting together, as they spend their time baking, watching movies, playing make believe, and Jake is always sporting a huge, bright smile when doing so. He makes Lola happy and it warms Amy's heart so much. Jake has also very earnestly admitted that he adores Lola and the time which he spends with the little girl.

But this could also be seen in a negative light. What if her and Jake start a relationship and it just doesn't work out between them. What if it gets to a point of no return, if everything between them breaks and they can't repair it, so they can no longer spend time together like they do now. That could have a serious effect on Lola. If suddenly Jake is no longer spending time with her, how would she handle the news that her mom ultimately ruined a brilliant friendship for the chance at something romantic.

She doesn't want to potentially ruin Lola and Jake's budding relationship. I mean, there was no guarantee that her and Jake would work out, her track record with relationships wasn't much to go on, she hadn't even managed to maintain a relationship with her own daughters father. How could she maintain a relationship with Jake?

But then, if her and Jake decide that it is in their best interests to simply remain friends; then someday, eventually Jake will move on. He is an attractive guy, with a big heart and great sense of humour; he is a great catch and Amy can't see it been a problem for him to find someone else; which would result in their time spent together cutting down anyway.

 

She couldn't comprehend a person who Jake may enter a relationship with, been happy about him spending multiple nights a week round at his friend’s house, spending time with her and her daughter. There nights of takeout and movies would eventually fizzle out; because she couldn't hold Jake back when it comes to relationships just to save their friendship; it isn’t fair on him to reject him and the sabotage future relationships, he deserves to be happy and full with his life. 

Part of Amy still thinks about all those dreams she used to have when she was younger, as she quietly watched her mom and dad navigate their marriage and seven children; it was always something she wanted, sure it was on a back burner to her career, been the youngest captain of NYPD was always the things wanted most, but she had liked the idea of having a marriage, children, a family, a life of memories. Living as a career driven, single mom; Amy had come to believe over the years that this marriage dream was no longer an option.

She didn't really believe there was a man out there who would be happy to take on her and Lola while also understanding she had high aspirations when it came to her career in the NYPD; because as much as she likes to believe the world is changing, she knows that even now men will sometimes feel emasculated if the woman is higher up than them. Sure, not all men are like that, she knows there are men out there who are happy to see females succeed, she just hasn’t met them.

She thought that if there was any chance of her developing a relationship with someone, then it would probably be later in life, when Lola was older and then the likelihood would be that the man would also potentially be from a divorced family with his own children.

But then Jake had stood in her kitchen, had told her that he wanted to explore a possible romantic relationship with her, told her that he loved her daughter and never wanted to hurt Lola, that he was all in, completely. That was all she had ever wanted to hear and he had said it all.

Up until the night of her birthday, when she kissed Jake in the back of the taxi, Amy hadn't really entertained the idea of her and Jake. She had recognised that Jake had this charm to him, he was kind hearted and considerate, she had more fun with Jake than anyone else in her life right now - except Lola - and he could make her laugh at the most random of times about even the smallest of things, and when she is feeling upset or down about something there is no one else other than Jake that she would want to talk with. He was cute as well, but that was just an added bonus.

 

Then, she had woke up the next morning and Jake had confessed his feelings, and Amy finally had the opportunity to consider the actual, real possibility of a relationship with Jake. She thought about the idea of coming home to Jake on a night, curling up on the sofa with Lola, the three of them watching a movie together. Waking up to him on a morning, lie ins on the weekend before spending lazy days with Lola doing nothing.

 

Amy can't remember much from her birthday night; her memory is still hazy from the alcohol she consumed. But she does remember the kiss and how it felt, how his soft lips felt on her own. Amy hates clichés but she can't deny that there was some sort of spark between them as they shared that kiss, a spark that most definitely left her wanting more. She could picture it in her mind, her, Lola and Jake as a little family.

 

Amy knows that if she was to consider an actual real relationship with Jake they would definitely need to get a definite answer on what exactly he meant when he said he was all in, make sure he was on board with a possible future with both her and Lola; but there was no denying the thought of them as a small family sparked a ray of butterflies in her stomach. 

 

In the end, after a lot of internal monologuing about the multiple possibilities, Amy decides to try and talk it out with Rosa. In a weird way, the two have some sort of bond through the fact they are the only female detectives at the nine-nine and so they try to stick together when possible.

 

Plus, even though Rosa can be a little scary and closed off about her private life, she is very much a straight to the point type of person when it comes to addressing issues and feelings. So, she knows Rosa will be honest with her, will tell her exactly as it is. And Rosa does just that when Amy broaches the subject, something which makes Amy extremely glad that she chooses to talk to Rosa about this.

 

 

They are assigned to a stakeout together, something which Amy jumps at. Not only because it means some one on one time with Rosa to approach the subject of Jake, but also because it has become a little awkward sitting across from Jake as she attempts to make up her mind, knowing he is holding out on her finally replying to his speech in her kitchen.

 

The ladies are sat in an abandoned alley way, a clear view of some old abandoned warehouse, they were given a tip off that some drug dealer they are trying to bust was making a drop off here a little later and they were waiting in hope of catching him. It's when they are settled in, simply waiting and watching that Amy finally brings up the subject she is desperate to talk about. Rosa seems bored the whole time as Amy tells her about the conversation Jake had in her kitchen the morning after her birthday.

 

"Well it is about time, honestly thought he would never get up the balls to finally tell you how he was really feeling." Rosa tells her, no tone in her voice.

"Wait, you knew he was feeling this way?" Amy asks, shocked that Rosa was already aware of his feelings.

"It wasn't hard to work out, he looks at you with a dopey eyed look every time you are in the room, he hasn't dated in over a year. He’s never actually said anything, but we all figured he was feeling something for you." Rosa tells her, and Amy just feels shocked because how has everyone but her known about Jake's feelings for her?

"Look you and Jake are basically in a relationship already, it's just lacking all the sex and stuff. Jake is always round at your place, spending time with you and your kid. Jake is constantly talking about Lola, whenever we work a case together he constantly bores me with endless stories of whatever cute thing she has done now; and no offence but it's never anything big because she's only three.

But, look, he has told you that this is something serious, that he wants an actual relationship with you and that he completely understands how it is when it comes to Lola. You know exactly how he feels in regards to starting a relationship, sure you will need to have a conversation with him to make sure exactly what he is after. But if you like him then you might as well just go for it.

I get that you are worried about your kid, it's understandable, but Jake very clearly wants to be in yours and Lola's life. Nothing is ever guaranteed to last, but right now at least he is interested in a relationship with you and Lola and been involved in your life.

And, worst case scenario and the two of you don't work out, then in time she will understand, understand that he was willing to try make it work, that he wanted a relationship with her and that he loved her during the period of time he was in your life. But look, there is no chance of it ever working and becoming something more unless you take the jump and try to make it work." Rosa tells Amy, before telling her that’s enough feelings talk and they finish the stakeout in silence. Amy knows that Rosa is right.

Amy knows that ultimately she has been putting off the inevitable, she knows exactly what she wants and has just been overthinking everything and worrying about consequences and negative impacts it could cause. But she needs to think about the positives, about how everything might just fall into place, how this could lead to everything she has ever dreamed off. Rosa was right, she will never know if it could be something great unless she takes the jump; Jake already had, now Amy needed to follow in his footsteps.

She knows that they need to have a conversation regarding everything, get all the cards on the table and make sure they are in exactly the same place and on the same page if they really do want to look into moving forward. So, the first thing she does is ask her mom to have Lola overnight once again, telling her that she has got to work a night shift as a favour to a colleague who got her off shift before - and when she agrees without a bat of an eyelid Amy knows she has the Friday off to finally have the conversation she desperately needs to have. She approaches Jake at work, as they are getting ready to go home after a long day at work and the majority of their co-workers have already left, leaving just them two along with Hitchcock and Scully who are napping in their seats. 

Things have been slightly awkward since her birthday between the two of them, neither of them really knowing what to say to each other as they both wait for Amy to final respond to Jake's speech. So, she finally approaches him and asks if he is free to go out for dinner on Friday night, allowing them the chance to finally talk and get everything out in the open; Amy definitely doesn't miss the glint of hope in his eyes when he agrees to dinner without hesitation as he agrees to dinner, a glint that gives Amy hope as well, and so they set a time and place.

Amy luckily has the day off on Friday, something which had worked well in persuading her parents to have Lola as it made it more believable that she would be on shift since there would have been questions raised if she was needed child care for both a day and a night shift. Her parents come and collect Lola just after lunch as they advise Amy to try get a few hours of sleep before her night shift starts. It works in her favour because it allows Amy - who is feeling incredibly nervous, the chance to think about what she is going to say tonight and also what she is going to wear.

 

Amy likes to be prepared, always has and she has been scribbling down notes about the possible conversation they might have tonight into her notebook all day; because depending how everything goes tonight, Amy might very well be committing herself to a possible romantic relationship with her best friend.

She starts getting ready earlier than she needs to, but she is constantly second guessing her choice of clothing and look; wondering if it is too formal, too casual, too over the top, so she wastes the extra time she has by been so indecisive. In the end she finally settles on a red, shift dress that is a more formal look than what she wore for her birthday but isn't too over the top; plus, she knows already that red is good colour on her.

She lets her hair down, falling over her shoulders in it's natural, slight curled state. She wears more makeup than usual, going for a smokier eyed makeup rather than her typical natural look, with a lipstick that is a significant shade darker than her everyday nude.

She decides against taking her own car and instead calls for a taxi because with the nerves she is already feeling, Amy is positive that she is going to need some liquid courage tonight, especially when it comes to the gut wrenching conversation they need to have. 

Amy - in typical Santiago style - arrives at the restaurant 15 minutes earlier than the time they agreed upon, and she can feel the nerves jumping around in her stomach as she makes her way inside, telling the maitre'd the name and time of the reservation. Much to her surprise, Jake is already there; he has dressed up smarter than usual, wearing a smart shirt that is more formal than his usual plaid look, and he also had on a jacket - which makes Amy glad on her own more formal attire - although he isn’t wear a tie with his shirt, but then Amy know that Jake hates ties. It also seems like he has had a haircut since their shift yesterday, his hair had begun to look a little shaggy over the last few weeks but it now seems to have been cut back.  

He stands up from his own seat as Amy approaches the table, greeting her with a kiss to her cheek before pulling out her chair to sit down; such the gentleman, Amy thinks. The butterflies in her stomach are going absolutely crazy; making Amy realise that this is her first date in almost 4 years, and it's even longer since she felt butterflies because she is fairly certain there wasn't even a small amount of fluttering going on when she first went on a date with Rafael.

The pair make small talk about their current work cases as they check out the menus and decide on what they want to order; they haven’t been assigned to work together all week so it’s nice to check in, but they only have so much small talk that they can engage in before they have to address the elephant in the room, and once the waiter has taken their orders they lapse into a slightly awkward silence. So, Amy takes a breath, then with a large gulp of her wine she decides she finally needs to take the leap just like Jake had those days before in her kitchen.

"Okay, so first off, thank you for taking the leap and telling me how you feel because I really don't know if I would have ever got up the courage to go first, I am fairly certain I would have always wimped out. I mean, I really like you as well Jake, you know how to make me smile all the time, and I am always laughing whenever you are around. You have been there for me on multiple occasions since I joined the nine-nine, and not just for work related reasons but personal reasons as well. You have been able to cheer me up time and time again when I’m down, you seem to just have a gift for it. 

I absolutely adore the way you are when it comes to Lola, and how she is when it comes to you. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would find someone who would generally want to spend time with Lola, and then actually enjoy that time spent with her. Every time I see you and Lola interacting, I always feel like I want to burst with the amount of emotion I feel." Amy tells Jake, she feels a little nervous, and notices she has been staring at the table for the majority of her speech and so she looks up, noticing that Jake has a soft, calm smile on his face, one that Amy isn't all that familiar with since usually he sports his cocky smirk; this one is an almost timid smile, like he can't really believe this is happening; Amy takes this as an encouraging look. 

"But from your speech the other day, I know that you are aware that it's not a simple thing for me, I can't just think, okay, let's do this, let's see where this could potentially go because it isn't just me that is getting put on the line. Your developed relationship with Lola is both a blessing and a curse to be honest; it has shown me that you can maintain a relationship with Lola and a good one at that, but that also then means that because you've already got a relationship with her already, then there is more loss that could come out of starting a relationship between us. 

 

You told me, the day after my birthday, that you loved spending time with Lola and that you were all in if we were to consider taking this further. I just need some more clarity, need to know exactly what those words meant, what it is that you want. I just really need to be certain that I can take this risk. I mean, I completely understand that sometimes things in life do not work out, I understand that more than anyone since this is definitely not the life I imagined. Life doesn't always go the way you want it, no one can guarantee that everything will be fine, anything could happen.

 

But I can't get into something under the pretence of a casual relationship; I need to know if it's something potentially serious, that you can generally see a potential future with me and Lola, that you would try hard to make it work. Because otherwise I am just not sure I can take the risk. Not with Lola on the line as well." Amy finishes, she can feel the nerves again, they had momentarily disappeared as she got on her role; but now she has finished talking they are back, because she has got everything out there, put it all on the line, and even though she is aware of the things Jake told her in the kitchen, she doesn't really know what he is going to say.

 

"I completely understand Ames I really do. Look, I really like you; honestly, I don't think I've felt this way with someone for a really long time, if not ever to be honest. I don't mean this in a negative way, but you were the last person I ever expected to fall for; we are so different, you are so calm, collected and straight forward thinking with everything you do. You are always prepared and mature about everything in your life.

 

But me, I am immature, sloppy, often dive right in without thinking about consequences to my actions if I have a hunch about something. Yet, I find that you make me better, you make me want to be not only a better detective but a better person. A person that is worthy of both you and Lola. I find myself always wanting to make you smile all the time, because there is nothing that makes my heart beat faster than seeing you smile at me from across our joining desks.

 

The nights the three of us spend our time lounging on your sofa, watching crappy television and eating takeaway are literally my favourite nights ever. I find myself always counting down the days to our next planned takeaway night. I know Lola is a massive factor in everything, I am very aware that you cannot just jump in head first because you have to think about Lola and how it might affect her, and that is completely fine with me. I love Lola, she is such an amazing credit to you, she makes me laugh constantly and I have so much fun with her when we spend time together.

I understand that you and Lola are a package deal, that starting a relationship with you also means taking on responsibility for Lola as well, ensuring that I am part of Lola's life and there for her. But the idea of having both you and Lola in my life makes me so happy. I know that we can't predict the future, neither of us know what is around the corner, anything can happen. We cannot promise that everything will work out because sometimes, no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, life just doesn't work out the way you want it, the way you expect it.

But right here, right now, when I think about having a future with you and Lola, I am filled with utter happiness. This is what I want. When I sit back and look at it, what we already have is not that far off an actual relationship; we do what people in relationships do but the only difference is that I currently can’t give you a kiss at the end of the night, I can't snuggle up with you on the sofa as we watch television, I can't tell everyone that you are my girlfriend, the person I am in a relationship with. 

But I would really like that. I want you, and I want Lola. I want both of you in my life, and hopefully for a long time. This isn't just a crush for me, I've thought about this a lot because I know what it's like to come from a home without a dad, my mom dated a lot after my dad left, and none of them ever stuck. It wasn't the best feeling in the world having all these men who I thought might finally be the person who would stick around only for them to disappear when things got too hard, not caring about me or my mom even when they said they would. I would never want that for Lola, and so I wouldn't have brought up the idea of this relationship if I wasn't one hundred percent committed to trying to make this work with you.

As we've both said, we can't guarantee we will work, no matter what, nothing is life is guaranteed. But I am willing to try, I am willing to do everything I possibly can to try and make a relationship between you and me work; because I like you so much Amy, more than I've liked anyone. So that is what I mean when I say I am all in." Jake finally finishes, and Amy is struck with emotion and a loss for words, and she is fairly certain that she has got some tears in her eyes.

She never knew until that very moment, as those words left his mouth that this was exactly what she was hoping to hear. Jake telling her that he hopes to have a future with both her ad Lola, that this is definitely something more than friendship. She knows he is right, they can't be certain that things will definitely work out between them, because nothing in life is ever simple. You have to try your hardest, that's all you can ask for.

She knows in her heart that she feels more for Jake than she ever did Rafael, more than any of her past boyfriends for that matter. The only boyfriend she ever remotely pictured a future with was Rafael, but even that was purely accidentally, only happened because of Lola and so she pictured a life together for that reason.

But Jake is so much more, he is not just an accidentally future that came about because of an unplanned pregnancy; this is a future that Amy actually wants. His words make her feel brave, make her believe that they can do this. That if she stands a chance of a future with anyone then it's Jake. She doesn't have the words to explain to him how she is feeling, but at the same time she doesn't feel like she needs words because Jake is looking at her like she is everything and more, he is showing in just a look how real everything he just said is.

So, Amy does the only thing that seems logic to her, standing up she leans across the table and kisses Jake once more. It isn't like the one in the taxi, that one was urgent, fast, sloppy. This one is a just a simple kiss, a small, lingering kiss as their lips meet each other’s in a promise of things to come.

They still have a lot more to talk about, discuss how they are going to approach this next step in their lives, how they are going to move forward. They need to talk about how they might address this relationship with Lola, with their families, with their work colleagues. But right now, as the pair come to terms with the fact they are very much on the same page, how they are both going to try their hardest to ensure this relationship works out; a simple kiss is enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy I managed to get this edited and published quicker than last time. I was really hoping this chapter wouldn't take me too long to get uploaded because I didn't want to leave you all waiting too long. But yeah, here it is. I hope you all like it. There is still loads of development i need to do, but its the start of Jake and Amy :D
> 
> I hope the ending to this chapter is okay as well. I almost felt like it was too formal, like it sounded like it was the overall end rather than a chapter end. But I really didn't know how to finish this one. So I finished it this way.
> 
> As always thank you for reading. Comments and kudos greatly appreciated. You can also talk to me on tumblr if you want. mrjacobsantiago.


	7. High School Flashbacks and Next Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and Amy tackle a second date.

Following the kiss, both Amy and Jake are visibly more comfortable and relaxed on their date. Now that they both know where each other stands in terms of the relationship and how they feel about one another it feels like the can actually start the date and have a good time. Amy feels light and happy as they talk through everything over their meals; making sure that they are both on the same page so that they can start moving forward with the relationship.

The pair discuss over their pasta dishes that they feel that for the time being it would be best to keep their relationship on the down low, that it would probably be best to try and keep the relationship between the two of them until they have a few dates under their belt and are able to establish if this relationship between them really does have a chance of working out. They both hope it will and they are both going to try everything they can to make sure it works, but sadly sometimes even that doesn’t work out.

Amy wants to wait until she knows they are steady and going strong before she tells Lola about the change in their relationship; she also doesn't want to tell her parents straight away either, she has a feeling they won't take it lightly or well and so she feels like there is no point in upsetting them until she knows if this is definitely going to work. Of course, she does not tell Jake this, she simply tells him that she doesn't want to tell her parents in case they let something slip in front of Lola. Jake understands that she doesn't want to tell Lola, he gets that completely, but she isn't so sure he would be so understanding about her parents and she doesn't want to make him feel like he won't be approved by her family and therefore make him feel like there is no point to the relationship. It’s almost like she is setting it up for failure.

Although they have decided to keep it from everyone at the moment, that includes keeping it from their work colleagues after Jake pointed out that Charles would probably have a heart attack from excitement over the news that Jake and Amy were finally dating; according to Jake he’s been rooting for them to get together since Amy transferred, constantly telling Jake to finally pursue his feelings. But Amy still insists that they tell HR, she doesn't want them to end up in a compromising situation because they decided to keep it a secret, plus Amy always makes sure that she follows the correct procedure no matter what.

Once everything is established and out on the table, they can actually start the date, they make small talk about nothing in particular. Since they have been friends for a long time now they already know a lot of information about each other but they get the chance to delve a little deeper, talk about everything and nothing including music and television. It's nice, Amy enjoys the company and the food, Jake somehow always manages to make his stories full of humour which leaves Amy laughing all night; and Amy has always believed that finding someone who makes you laugh can be one of the most important features in a relationship.

Amy feels happier that she has felt in a really long time, it makes her excited about what is to come, what will happen next between her and Jake; and when the pair leave the restaurant that night, when Jake walks Amy home before leaving her at her apartment door with a simple kiss on the cheek and a promise of a second date, Amy's got butterflies exploding in her stomach and a grin brighter than the sun on her face.

-

A second date between Amy and Jake is organised and this time they decide to do a movie followed by food; a nice, easy date that can keep it comfortable and still fairly casual between them. The date is scheduled for a week after the first one, but to try and keep up with their usual every day routines that they have set up over the last few months, Jake comes round to Amy's midweek to spend time with her and Lola; it's an after work thing, he brings along food and spends the majority of the night bouncing off Lola's energy as she excitedly spends the time with Jake since this is the first time she has seen him in over 2 weeks after Jake avoided their weekly takeaway nights while Amy was attempting to decided what to do in regards to his confession. They definitely don't count the takeaway night with Lola as a date, because it's just an ordinary part of their lives that they have done for so long now, but that doesn't stop the night from ending with another simple kiss and Amy beaming until she falls asleep.

For their second date, Amy's brother Luis has Lola over night; she tells him she is working a night shift once again and doesn't want to put too much on their parents after they had her overnight the previous Friday. He agrees without question and Lola is excited at the idea of having a sleepover with her Uncle Luis. It’s the first time her daughter has stayed with her brother overnight.

Amy doesn't feel half as nervous as she did last time as she gets ready for her date with Jake after Lola is gone. They are still butterflies in her stomach, but they are more from excitement than from nerves because there is no wondering this time, no worry about what is next; she knows where her and Jake stand and she knows that this is there second date as they attempt to navigate a romantic relationship. 

Since they are going to the cinema before food, Amy goes for a more casual look this time; she doesn't want to look over the top in a cinema which she knows she would look like if she wore a dress similar to the red one that she wore on the first date. Instead she opts for a pair of tight black jeans that she knows highlight her legs in the best way possible; she pairs them with a deep purple top that has some sequin detailing and a neckline that plunges a little lower than she would usually wear but not too low that it's inappropriate for the cinema. She finishes her look with a pair of heeled ankle boots so that the height difference between them won't be so big, and a black jacket.

They meet at the cinema and the pair have a relaxed, comfortable night. Jake has her laughing from the moment she arrives; he tells her jokes and makes up amusing background stories for the people in the cinema. It almost makes Amy feel like she's back in high school with how giddy and happy she feels, and she honestly really likes it. Jake takes hold of her hand as the pair walk between the cinema and restaurant, linking their fingers together and making Amy feel like she's almost floating. 

The meal is lovely, the restaurant isn't nearly as fancy as the last one with a much more casual, comfortable feel to it. They are seated in a round booth this time and the pair sit on the same side, Jake places his arm around Amy's shoulders as she snuggles in closer.

They order their meals and some beers to go alongside it. The conversation flows easily and so does the alcohol; and once they are exiting the restaurant at closing time they are both slightly buzzed. Once again Jake offers to walk her home since they are only a few blocks over from her place and it seems daft to order a taxi. So, with the tipsy state they giggle and stumble their way down the street, clutching onto each other to avoid falling and causing serious incident. This time however, instead of ending the date with a kiss at her door and a promise of a third date, they end up crashing through her apartment door, kissing with urgency and heat. 

The door shuts behind them and they stumble through the dark apartment towards her bedroom, it's hard since the only light streaming into the apartment is from the streets outside and neither of them are willing to break from the kiss. Eventually, after bumping into multiple pieces of furniture and knocking over what Amy is certain is a lamp, they reach her bedroom. Their shoes and jackets have been discarded in the journey as well. 

They finally break apart now, the need for oxygen to high. They both attempt to catch their breath, foreheads still touching before Amy pulls back slightly to look at Jake; his eyes are blown with desire and his lips are swollen slightly from their heavy make out session. Amy knows where this is leading, knows exactly what is about to happen if they both consent and she takes a moment to think about it. It has been a long time since Amy was last with someone, in fact she hasn't been with anyone since Rafael, she has never actively seeked out a relationship after he left, too focused on raising Lola on her own, and she has never been one for casual hook-ups or one-night stands. Jake would be her first in a long time. 

They have both composed themselves now, and although the desire is still very prominent in Jake's eyes, it's almost softer, calmer now. Amy had thought that when it came to this side of her relationship with Jake then she would feel nervous, worried almost; she seriously thought it would take her a lot of courage to even think about taking the next step, let alone go through with everything. But she isn't feeling any of those right now, instead she feels confident and comfortable in the fact that she very much would like to take the next step with Jake.

"We don't have to do anything tonight, I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position or make you regret anything when you wake up tomorrow. I am more than happy to call it a night, this wasn't an intention of mine." Jake tells her; there is still a look of desire in his eyes but there is also one of sincerity, one that shows he is more than serious about the words he is saying and Amy doesn’t doubt them for one second. He respects Amy and doesn't want to overstep or put her in a place that makes her uncomfortable. Amy knows that she is a little tipsy from the alcohol, as is Jake, but she knows that she has not had enough to not know what she is doing or consent to anything that may happen tonight. She is still of perfectly sound mind. 

She reaches up once more, her hands coming up to rest against the side of Jake's face as she brings it down so that their lips meet once again in a sweet, tender embrace. It isn't as lust filled or heated as the previous make out session that the pair had; but the passion and desire is still there, pooling in Amy's stomach as they once again break apart.

"I want this, I want you." Amy tells him in the silence of the bedroom; the only noise coming from the street below the apartment building. 

"Okay." Jake tells her, before moving in for another kiss, it starts of in a similar manner to the previous one; but Amy attempts to switch it back to how they were when they came stumbling into the apartment, building up the passion and heat once more; and it successfully works as she slides her tongue into Jake's mouth and letts them battle for dominance. Within 60 seconds the kiss has escalated as they start to back up towards Amy's bed while she starts making work of the button down he is wearing, while he moves his lips down to her neck where he starts kissing and sucking on it. 

It's not a quick, rushed process, they each take their time, exploring this new territory and side to their relationship. Jake definitely knows what he is doing in the bedroom, knows how to make it just as enjoyable for the girl as it is for the male. Amy had a hunch, had even fantasied about it, but she learns in that night that Jake has one talented tongue and one pair of talented hands. Amy is fairly certain she sees stars as she reaches her climax, coming down from the high at the same time as Jake, panting and breathing heavily as they fall side by side in her bed, spent and happy. 

- 

Amy jerks awake with a start the following morning. A warm, heavy body wrapped around her own as someone pounding on the door echoes around the apartment. It takes Amy a few moments to adjust to the morning and for the memories of the previous night to come flood back, a small smile interrupting on Amy's face as she relives the memories over.

Amy had definitely not planned on sleeping with Jake when she left the apartment for their second date the previous evening; had no intention of ending the night with anything more than kiss goodnight a promise of a third date. She never rushed into anything with anybody, she had always been cautious when it came to sex and usually had a three-date minimum rule. Even with Rafael – who, in the beginning, had been the closest she ever got to a causal relationship - she had waited until the third date mark.

She thought she would have extended this rule since becoming a mother on the back of a fairly casual, sexual relationship; thought she would have extended it to a five-date minimum, but then she hadn't expected to start a relationship when Lola was still young, she expected to be single until Lola was at least in middle school. She definitely had not expected to start one with someone she considered a friend first and foremost.

That been said, she definitely did not have any regrets in regards to spending the night with Jake; she had known exactly what she was consenting to and still had full position of her memories from last night, remembering every detail of the evening. It had been an amazing night, Jake had never taken advantage of her once, making sure she consented to everything they did, but not to a point where she grew tired of telling him yes and effectively killing the mood. He had known the balance between getting her to consent and not taking it to the extremes. 

It had been a special night, she wasn't afraid to admit to herself that she had never felt so much for someone so early on in a relationship as she had last night with Jake. Amy wasn't a prude, just because she liked to know her partner and form some sort of relationship with them before moving to the sexual part of a relationship didn't make her a nun or anything.

She enjoyed sex just as much as anyone, in fact she wasn't ashamed to admit that with the right guy she was more than willing to experiment and explore different possibilities in the bedroom. From what she could gather from last night, she had a feeling Jake would be more than up for exploring their sexuality with each other; and there was no denying that he was definitely the best she had ever had. Not that she would admit that to him, he already had a big enough ego as it is.

More pounding on the door sounded through the apartment, effectively drawing Amy back out of her mind as she glanced over at the clock. Suddenly she jolted upright, panic setting in at the sight of the clock that told her it was a little after 11am. She had slept in, something which she had never done ever, Amy Santiago prided herself on been able to get up and ready on time; but that had gone out of the window now. With everything that had happened yesterday, Amy had completely forgot to set her three morning alarms and she had left her phone in her bag by the front door, a phone which was now most likely dead since she hadn't charged it overnight.

But, the problem lay in that fact that because she had slept in, her brother was now pounding on the door to get her attention and welcome home her daughter who had spent the night with her Uncle Luis; but that wasn't the only problem, the other problem was currently pressed up against her in the form of a very naked Jake Peralta. They had agreed to not tell their families about each other until it was more established, and she definitely didn't have any way to explain this to Luis or Lola.

She couldn't slip Jake out the apartment, send him down the fire escape. They weren't teenagers and Amy would feel awful at practically throwing him out of the apartment after their night last night. She didn’t want him to think she was embarrassed or ashamed by the two of them together, or worse think he had done something wrong or over stepped the boundaries last night. Her only option was to get Jake to wake up and get dressed and then try to think of an excuse as to why he is in her place at this time of the morning.

Somewhere, Amy hears the faint sound of her ringtone from somewhere down the hall, her phone clearly hadn't died, and so Luis was clearly trying to get in touch with her since she wasn't answering the door. She briefly wondered if she could get away with locating her phone, answering it and the profusely apologising to Luis for getting tied up with a case at work that prevented her from getting home from work and accessing her phone for work. Then she could ask him to take Lola for another hour while she tried to get away to come collect her. It would allow for her to sort everything out and get Jake out of the apartment. But that thought passes quickly when she realises he can probably hear her ringtone through the door so the lie would untangle quickly. 

She's got about three minutes until he really starts to panic, which in turn will probably make Lola panic as well.

“Jake, Jake you need to wake up right now.” Amy says, turning towards him and jostling him slightly, but it doesn’t work as instead he just snuggles further into the pillow now that he’s not wrapped around her. 

“Please Jake, we need to get ready right now.” Amy urges again, this time shaking him with more force, before slipping out of bed in search of underwear, not even bothering to check if it’s clean or not at this moment in time; only focusing on the brother about to pound her door in and a potential worried toddler. 

“Urgh Ames, it’s still early.” Jake says, his voice muffled because his face is still pressed into the pillow he is now effectively spooning. But Amy’s glad to just hear his voice because at least he is slightly awake now.

“No it’s not, my brother Luis is currently pounding on the door, trying to hand Lola back over and he’s probably about 2 minutes away from breaking down the door while we lay in bed together.” Amy tells him and that seems to fully wake him up since he’s out of bed at lightning speed, almost tripping over his own feet. The two of them stumbling around as they attempt to get dressed as quickly and quietly as possible while they come up with the excuse that Jake is over to continue their work on a case that they started on shift.

They try to get rid of any evidence of their night together, as Jake attempts to flatten out his bed hair and Amy does a sweep of the apartment; neither ever having got changed and ready as quickly as they just have; even if they are still unwashed and in slightly dirty clothes. Jake quick takes a seat at the kitchen counter under the pretence that he’s there talking about work, and with one more quick glance over her apartment to make sure there is nothing incriminating on show, she pulls open the door to her hyperactive daughter and a very annoyed looking brother. A large, but guilty smile appears on Amy’s face.

"Mommy." Lola exclaims excitedly, launching herself at Amy for a hug before the young girl spots Jake over her shoulder and her mom is forgotten about in favour of her favourite person instead, Lola taking off towards Jake with just as much enthusiasm as she had entered the apartment with. Jake catches her with ease as she launches at him too, lifting her onto his knee as she starts telling him all about her story. Amy turns back towards her brother who is looking pretty pissed off right now.

“I am so sorry, Jake came over after our shift to talk about the case and we somehow fell asleep at the table. I don't know how I didn't hear your banging sooner, I am so sorry it definitely won’t happen again.” Amy tells her brother, sprouting out the first lie she can actually think of. Luis is very clearly annoyed at the delay and Amy notes that she doesn’t actually know how long he was out there for; he could have been banging on the door for a lot longer than she knew about.

“Yeah, make sure it doesn’t.” He says in a slightly biting tone, before handing over Lola’s night bags and exiting without another word, although it’s not without a backwards glance at Jake, and Amy isn’t sure if she’s managed to get away with her lie or if Luis has a feeling that something else has happened.

But with a sigh she closes the door behind him, not dwelling on the possibility. Instead turning round, watching as Jake listens intently to Lola who is still nestled on his knee and telling him all about her night, he lifts his gaze slightly, meeting Amy's across the apartment and sending her a soft smile. Amy returns it, happiness and content filling her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to publish and is shorter compared to the last few chapters. I've been crazy busy with work since it's the last few weeks of the school term before summer. I was hoping to get out something longer, but when i looked at the next part of the fic that i've written I felt it didn't have a good enough cut off point or part that I could merge with this chapter.
> 
> Also, I was really unsure about the whole sex on their second date because I do feel that Amy would be more sensible when it comes to sex now that she has a daughter that wasn't exactly planned. But it's canon that Jake and Amy had sex after their first date, so that also made me think they would move on with their relationship quicker than she would have with her previous relationships. Plus I kinda wanted to show how comfortable she already is with Jake.
> 
> Anyway, hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker and will be longer. As always thank you for reading. Comments and kudos greatly appreciated. You can also talk to me on tumblr if you want. mrjacobsantiago.


	8. Secret Kisses and Innocent Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy thinks she is successfully managing to navigate her relationship without raising suspicion, until Lola has a question for her.

Over the next few months, everything runs smoothly and Amy is happier than she has been in a long time. If her brother had any suspicions from the morning he had returned Lola to find Jake in her kitchen, then he hadn't voiced them to her or anyone else since it hadn't been brought up by anyone; meaning that her and Jake were still managing to fly under the radar of sorts, with neither Lola or Amy's family aware of the relationship between them. 

The pair still have their takeout nights, they are exactly the same as they have always been, but now they had been upped to at least once a week, with many weeks where it's happening two or three times. Jake still devotes time to Lola, listening to her stories, playing whatever new game or toy she is interested in that week and more often than not the three of them will watch a movie together before Lola is expected to head to bed. Then, when Lola is finally settled and asleep, the pair will curl up together on the sofa, watching tv as the cuddle up close before sharing a goodnight kiss as he leaves.

An unspoken rule between them is that Jake never spends the night if Lola is in the apartment and therefore will only stay over if Amy has managed to get care for Lola overnight. Not all their dates are on an evening, sometimes they will schedule a day off together - typically on a day that she usually would work - without telling her family so that they have Lola without question and Amy can spend time with Jake away from their adjoining desks while the sun is still shining.

But, because it is simply easier to arrange between them, most of their dates will happen on an evening; always using the cover that Amy is required to work a night shift so that someone will have Lola overnight. Her daughter is thrilled to be going to so many sleep overs, and thanks to the retirement of Captain McGintley and therefore the recent appointment of Captain Holt, her family believes her when she tells them that the Captain is still trying to work out a set work schedule and is shuffling round shifts to get a feel for who works well together and when. Amy thought she would feel guilty about lying to her parents but the guilt seems to be barely there.

On the evenings she has with Jake they typically will go out first, usually for food since they already spend so much time eating takeout together at her place, that it's nice to actually eat out for a change; occasionally they will visit the cinema or a museum that has peeked Amy's interested - although that is usually reserved for their days off rather than evening dates - before they will head back to her apartment where they will spend the night.

After the events that transpired after their first night together; alarms are always set before she leaves the house for the date, and four alarms will be set instead of her typical three, Amy tries to also offer to pick Lola up rather than have her dropped off, that way if she were to be late they would assume she was working overtime, and there would be no risk of anyone barging in on her and Jake. It works most of the time because her family find it easier for Amy to pick Lola up anyway. But, Amy still always insists they make sure they spend the night at hers just to make sure there is someone in to welcome home Lola if needs be.

By now, the squad are well aware of the relationship between them, it was just too hard to keep from them when they were working together everyday, they had told Captain Holt as soon as he was appointed and felt it was best to tell everyone else about the relationship as well, plus things were getting more serious between them so it was hard to hide it. Amy had also wanted someone to talk to about the relationship and since her family where out the question, she felt Rosa was the best person to talk with, she had encouraged her to pursue this to begin with, plus there was no bullshit with Rosa.

The pair remain completely professional at all times while on duty, apart from the obvious heart eyes they make across the desks, they had only had one slip up in their relationship. When Amy hadn't been able to secure overnight care for Lola in almost three weeks, the pair had got a little too into their usual morning kiss and Captain Holt had caught them in the middle of a pretty heated make out session in front of the precinct. Amy had been mortified, she had high hopes of Captain Holt becoming her mentor and felt that had ruined her chances, and therefore spends the next week avoiding Jake like a plague when in and around the precinct, much to Jake's amusement. 

Amy is still very passionate about becoming the youngest captain of the NYPD one day, and she wanted someone as respected as Holt as her mentor, she thinks that he is an inspiration, he clearly wants to make their precinct a good, working force once again; it had slipped down the last few years as McGintley drew closer to his retirement and had stopped caring about anything other than food and sleep. They had always been a great team together, they all work well together and at the moment where one of the top precincts for arrests, but McGintley had been letting them get away with just about everything, and when Terry had been delegated to desk duty several months earlier things had taken a slightly bigger dip.

 

Amy just hoped that with Captain Holt now in charge that they would get back to the high standards they had previously upholded. She was also hoping that she could build a relationship with the Captain so she could formally ask him to become her mentor. Her only problem at the moment seemed to be the tension and mutual dislike developing between Jake and the Captain that she only hoped would not affect her relationship with either of them.

But, other than that, her and Jake are actually doing really well, better than Amy ever imagined. This both pleases and scares Amy, the idea that this relationship might not have worked, how it had the potential to go south is not something Amy wants to think about. Yet, the better the relationship goes, the more serious it becomes, then she knows she's going to have to seriously start thinking about long terms plans, where Jake fits into her life and how to tell her family about the relationship. 

So far Jake has been amazing and very understanding in regards to the whole situation, he has not once tried to push her into telling her family about each other, and he is more than happy to remain exactly the same around Lola with no kissing or cuddling until her daughter is in bed. But she knows that it isn't fair to keep him and their relationship a secret, and she doesn't want to keep it a secret either, she honestly can't believe how lucky she is to have found Jake. But she still finds herself worried about telling her parents about the relationship, scared about their reactions. But it turns out that she shouldn't have worried about how to tell her parents, because someone else beats her to it.

It happens on her father’s birthday, this is one of the only days when everyone actually comes together; all seven brothers make their way home from the different states they are scattered in. They all bring their partners, their children and they all somehow manage to squeeze into their parents’ house for a home cooked meal and drinks; with games and movies often coming out when the kids are sleeping upstairs, all warn out after the events of the day. It's something that always happens on their parents’ birthdays and Christmas because there is so many of them now it's getting harder and harder to fit their schedules together so that they can all be there.

At the moment, all the adults have congregated to the dining room where a gathering of tables and chairs have been set up to accommodate everyone; dinner isn't for another hour yet; her mom still preparing it all, so everyone is just sat together, catching up with each other’s lives and chatting while the children play in the living room, likely making a mess with toys no doubt.

 

Amy is currently talking to her sister in law Taylor about the schools that she has her children, Mateo and Gabrielle, in since she has to start looking into preschools for Lola; and she knows that her sister in law did intense research into the different preschools in the area and so she might be able to offer Amy some insight into the ones closest to where she lives. Even though Amy will conduct her own intense research into schools.

Everyone that is gathered around the table is engaged into individual conversations between each other, but the table isn't that big and so they are all within close proximity that they can all hear each other’s conversation and therefore dip in and out of them. Meaning that when Lola comes into the kitchen asking for her mom that everyone in the rooms quietens down significantly so Amy can clearly hear her daughter.

"Is everything okay Mija? Are you enjoying your time playing with all your cousins?" Amy asks, turning so that she is facing Lola by the doorway.

"Mommy, is Jakey going to be my daddy?" Lola asks, her voice filled with innocence as she speaks, and Amy actually feels like her heart stops momentarily and her blood runs cold; the dining rooms immediately falls silent, so quiet that you would be able to hear a pin drop. All previous conversations have seized to exist, and Amy is fairly certain she heard a gasp from her mother.

She can feel all their eyes on her, but all Amy's focused on is her daughter, the daughter who is looking at her with huge eyes as she waits for her answer. Amy's heart is now racing and it suddenly feels very hot inside the house, her three-year-old daughter has just outed her relationship with Jake and Amy has no idea where it has come from.

"What makes you ask that questions sweetheart?" Amy asks, her eyes focused on her daughter and only her daughter, avoiding every single other person in the room, her heart beating hard against her chest, palms extremely sweaty thanks to her current situation. 

“Because I saw you and Jakey kiss once, and Gabby said that kissing is what mommies and daddies do." Lola explains with her innocent stance, moving further into the dining room and closer to Amy.

Amy hears a gasp come from the general direction of where her parents are sat, along with some snickers from behind her, most likely coming from her immature brothers, all too pleased that Amy has been caught out by her three-year-old daughter. Amy coughs to make sure her voice is still intact before addressing her daughter once again,

"When did you see me and Jake kissing sweetie?" Amy asks, trying to rack her mind for when Lola could have possibly have seen her and Jake kiss, she can't remember a time when either of them have slipped up, they are always so careful, both of them. She can't remember a time when Lola was awake and present.

"I woke up before, I needed the toilet and I thought I still heard Jakey's voice so got excited, but when I came down the hall I saw he was leaving, he kissed you on the lips and then I went back to bed. Is he going to be my new daddy?" Lola asks, looking increasingly impatient, like she doesn't understand why she's having to explain herself and why she is not getting the answer she wants. 

"Come her sweetheart," Amy says, momentarily forgetting that her entire family are still in the room, watching and listening to ever single word, as she reaches out for her daughter before pulling her into her lap. 

"Now baby, you know what your daddy is currently working away in a different place, and that is why he cannot get home to see you. And I know that what Gabrielle said is right, mommies and daddies do kiss, but it's not just mommies and daddies who kiss, you give me kisses all the time, and abuelo and abuela.

And it's also sometimes people who really like each other that kiss." Amy tells her, not sure how to really explain that no Jake is not her new dad, but he is part of her life because he is with Amy, and the further they get with their relationship the more he is likely to become involved.

“Like boyfriends and girlfriends, or boyfriend and boyfriends?” Lola asks, looking up at her mom with wide, bright eyes. 

“Or girlfriends and girlfriends yes. They kiss because they like each other and that’s what people who like each other do to show each other how much they care.” Amy explains. She cannot believe that she is having to have the conversation with her toddler right here, right now, surrounded by her entire family. She can feel how hot and flushed her cheeks are right now.

“So is Jakey your boyfriend?” Lola asks and Amy feels the heat rising again, she has now got to officially define her relationship with Jake to her daughter and therefore officially defining it to her parents and brothers as well. It's not like she can lie, her and Jake are boyfriend and girlfriend, they are exclusive and have defined their relationship with one another.

If she were to lie and deny the relationship it would cause more trouble in the long run when she did finally tell her family and she doesn't even want to think of the repercussions it could cause on her relationship if Jake were to find out she deliberately lied and covered up their relationship from her family. This was just not how she wanted them to find out. 

“He is mija, Jake is my boyfriend. But this doesn’t mean he will be your new dad, it just means that me and Jake like each other very much and he will be spending more time with us. But that’s okay right? You like Jake spending time with us?” Amy says, suddenly feeling like she should confirm that Lola is okay with this because otherwise she’s screwed. She also can't help that a little bit of her hopes that if Lola sings Jake’s praises a little, then it might take the heat off her parents’ wrath regarding the relationship. Make them feel less annoyed, angry, frustrated.

“Of course, Mamma. Jakey is my favourite person. He plays dolls and princess with me all the time. You picked a nice boyfriend Momma; the best one.” Lola says before hugging her mom tightly. Her comment makes Amy chuckle as Lola breaks away from the hug and is then wiggling off her knee and leaving the room to go back to play with her cousins and once again Amy feels the blood drain from her body as she now needs to face her family.

“Hah! I told you there was something going on between her and Jake. I knew it when I dropped Lola off that morning and he was in the kitchen, pay up boys.” Luis says, breaking the silence that is sat heavily in the room and suddenly there’s a flurry of action and noise as her brothers start reaching into their pockets, reaching for wallets with mumbles of ‘can’t believe it’ and ‘told you they were sleeping together’ flit through the air.

 

Amy would be offended that they had placed bets on her love life if she wasn’t so preoccupied with the look currently on her parents’ face. Her dad looked mad, her mom looked annoyed and Amy felt her heart sink. Suddenly they both stood up from the table, walking back into the kitchen and Amy immediately followed because she needs to talk to them, alone. Without her brothers.

 

The kitchen was silent when Amy entered, her mom stood by the sink but Amy can't tell if she is actually washing pots or doing anything by the sink; a quick scan around the room shows there is no sign of her dad but there is a faint smell of tobacco drifting through the kitchen and Amy knows exactly where her dad has disappeared to.

 

"Hey Mamma, I think we should talk about what just happened in there." Amy tells her, she is definitely worried about this conversation, can feel the nerves in her body, but it’s out in the open now, she can't hide anymore. She has every intention in continuing her relationship with Jake, she is very happy with him and now Lola has basically given her approval in the only way a three-year-old can, she is looking forward to finally taking the next step in her relationship with Jake. But she needs to make sure she has everything cleared with her parents; make sure they really understand the situation.

 

"How could you be so reckless? I can't believe that my own daughter is stupid enough to be messing around with some man in such a way that Lola finds out about it simply because she wanted the toilet? Do you realise how embarrassing it is for me and your father to find out that our granddaughter is referring to some other man as her father? She shouldn't be jumping to these conclusions, assuming that your latest booty call is her new father simply because you couldn't make it work with her actual father." Her mom says, her voice is cold and she never once turns towards Amy as she speaks.

Her words hurt, they pierce Amy as they flow out and into the kitchen. She has always known that her parents have been upset with the situation she had landed herself in. Despite how open and forward thinking they come across as the majority of the time - never once did they blink an eyelash or have a word to say when her brother Carlos came out to them back in his teen years - the pair can still be very traditional when it came to certain aspects of their lives and their children's lives.

Sadly for Amy, this included how they expected their children to fall in love, get married, then have children and live happily ever after. Cuban's don't get divorced was something both her parents had said on multiple occasions, in particular when Amy told them about her divorce from Rafael. But even with these slightly backwards beliefs, she never expected them to take her starting a new relationship so badly, especially when they were not even aware of the situation between her and Jake.

"That isn't fair mom, you don't know the situation between me and Jake. The both of us have been so careful since it started, we were just friends for a long time, and during that time he also got to know Lola. Since starting this relationship we have always took cautions, Jake has never once stayed the night if Lola is home, and we never engage in any sort of affection when we are aware of Lola's presence.

We have talked about the situation and we both know where we stand and how the relationship is in regards to Lola. He’s not just some booty call, we care about each other and Jake cares about Lola so much, he’s great with her and she adores spending time with him, even before we started this relationship she was always asking for Jake. 

Besides, it wasn’t me who told her about dads and stuff; she only used that word because it was what Gabrielle had been talking about it. The words Jake and Dad never came from me, I never once projected Jake as Lola's father onto her. As soon as I mentioned boyfriends and girlfriends, Lola knew the difference and immediately knew that Jake was not her new dad. 

It is not my fault she is curious about her dad, everyone in her life has a dad and hers is off somewhere. It’s not my fault that HE decided he didn’t want this. HE decided he didn't want a marriage, a child, any of this.” Amy tells her mom, making sure to keep her voice level and not reveal just how much her mom’s words had affected her.

 "You should have insisted that Rafael stayed, you never should have signed those divorce papers and basically giving him the freedom to leave like that." Her mom replies, still not turning look at her as she speaks.

 "That is not fair, we weren't happy mom. You honestly believe that it would be better for Lola to be living in a household with two parents who are not happy together, who do not want to be together. One who doesn't want to be there at all. You really think that would be better for her? That would not a healthy environment for a child to grow up in, and the blow up would still come because neither of us really cared about each other. The longer we waited the worse it would have been for Lola in the long run, at least this way she wasn't witness to what could have been a horrible explosion between her parents." Amy answers her mom, furious that she still doesn't seem to understand the situation.

When looking back on the situation, Amy knows that she made a mistake when agreeing to marry Rafael. She knew she didn't love him, knew that realistically this was not the man she wanted to spend her life with; but she felt under a lot of pressure and at the time it felt like marriage was the only logical step, but that wasn't true.

If they hadn't been married then her and Rafael's fallout would have been significantly cheaper for both of them and probably a lot cleaner as well. She also wonders if their resentment she got from her parents over the divorce would not be there if a marriage had never happened, the marriage gave her parents a glimmer of hope that things would work out, maybe it was unfair to give them that hope when in her own head she knew it never could have worked in the long run. But she also knows that there would have been a resentment from her parents about Lola been born out of wedlock so there wasn't really a winning situation for her.

“At least she would have her father around; at least she wouldn’t be calling some random man her dad.” Her mom says, finally turning around and Amy doesn’t think she’s ever seen her mom look so empty and cold as she stares at her. No emotion on her face except a little bit of anger and disappointment.

 "You can't say that mom, the divorce between me and Rafael never once stopped him from seeing Lola. I never stopped him from having access to Lola and I never wanted my daughter to grow up without her father. I did everything in my power to ensure that Rafael was still in her life. I arranged days for him to see her, things for them to do, trips for them to take; but there is only so many times that I could reach out to him and get no response.

I wasn't the one who give up on his relationship with Lola; Rafael was the one who cut off the communication between us. He was the one who constantly cancelled on the days he was supposed to see Lola, he stopped replying to my calls and messages. Rafael is the one who basically dropped off the face of the earth, he hasn't communicated to me about where he is living, I don't even know if he is still in the state and that's because he just stopped communicating. He decided he didn't want the responsibility of Lola.

Plus, Jake isn't just some random guy, he has been in Lola's life for almost two years now. He will sit with her and happily play along with her games, he is always happy to dress up as a princess with her and never complains when she wants to spend time with him. He will sit and watch numerous Disney movies with her and always sings along with all the songs.

Also, that day, months ago, back when daddy was in hospital he volunteered to look after Lola so that both me and Carlos could be with you and dad. He stayed with her all day and didn't complain once about it; and when she got upset because I hadn't got home at my normal time, Jake took her mind off it by spending hours baking and decorating cakes with her.

So, you may have your issues with Jake, but he is not just some random man that parades in and out of Lola's life on a regular basis. He has actually been a constant in her life for a while now, he cares about her and he has expressed this to me on multiple occasions. This isn't something that I just jumped into, I thought long and hard about this and what I was getting into. I made sure it was in everyone's best interest." Amy tells her mom, not even attempting to keep the anger out of her voice because her mom was being unfair, more so than Amy had though. Amy would like Rafael to be in Lola's life just as much as her parents want, that’s why she kept reaching out for so long, but he chose not to be in her life and Amy can't make up his mind for him.

“We are Cuban, how can you try and justify you getting a divorce and daughter calling another man daddy. It is not right.” Her mom says, looking her dead in the eye and Amy feels like there’s almost a cold draft wafting through at just that look.

"You know what mom, I am not trying to justify my relationship because that would imply that I am in the wrong somehow. I was trying to give you some insight into mine and Lola's relationship with Jake so that you could maybe try and understand what was happening. I am telling you that Jake is not out there trying to replace Lola's dad, but he is my boyfriend, we are in a relationship and Lola adores him. These are the facts and I don't care anymore if you approve or not.

I have spent every single day since I got divorced believing I would be alone for a long time because who would be happy to take on the pressures and responsibilities of dating a single mom. But I've found someone. Someone who understands that this isn't like every other relationship but he still wants to be in it with me. Some who is kind and patient and lovely not only to me, but also to my daughter who he has absolutely no requirements for. These are the facts and you will have to deal with them because I don't plan on ending my relationship with Jake any time soon." Amy finishes, feeling a little flustered by her slight outburst, but also glad that she got out exactly what she wanted to say. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Her mom says, her voice still cold and Amy can’t help but feel deflated. After everything she’s been through with her parents she always though her and her mom were close enough that no matter what they could get over anything, she’s not so sure anymore. 

“Don’t say anything then.” Amy says, before backing out the room, the dining room is deadly silent and Amy is fully aware that all of her brothers and in laws have been listening to the conversation that has just transpired. But for once, she doesn't actually care. 

“Lola sweetheart, I’m sorry but we need to get going so I need you to say goodbye to your cousins, we’ll see them again soon I promise.” Amy calls out, heading into the living room to collect her daughter who looks a little surprised at the abruptness of it all, but she says her goodbyes to her cousins and calls out a goodbye to the rest of the house before following her mom out the house, remaining silent once they are outside and Amy has a feeling that her daughter has picked up on the fact that she shouldn't say anything or argue against her mom.

The two of them are on the road within five minutes, leaving her parents’ house and their family behind. No one follows them to the car but Amy isn't surprised or bothered by this. Her brothers know her well enough not to try and approach her when she is angry or upset. She has a reputation of been a little hot headed and she doesn't want to blow her top in front of Lola. And her dad hadn't showed his face since learning about Jake.

As they drive back into the city, Amy glances back at her daughter, the little girl is sat in her car seat, playing with her favourite Barbie that she takes everywhere with her, humming along to the Disney song that is playing through the car sound system. She completely understands that her parents want what is best for both her and Lola, but how can they not even attempt to understand that Jake might just be that? How can they so quickly judge before they even know the truth of the situation?

Jake has stuck by her and Lola, and she doesn't want Lola to replace her biological dad, she thinks it's important that her daughter makes her own opinion on her dad and that she has the option of trying to contact him when she is old enough. Amy would never deny her daughter the chance of a possible relationship between herself and her dad if that is what Lola wants and she will never force the idea of Jake been her dad on Lola. But Jake has been more of a father figure to Lola than Rafael ever has, Jake has been more involved with her life than Rafael and Amy is sure that Lola wouldn’t even be able to pick her dad from a line-up.

Amy can't help but worry that she might just be falling in love with Jake and this definitely scares her a little. She has been cautious and doesn't want to rush anything with her and Jake but she can't deny that she definitely sees a future with Jake and that usually comes from a place of love. If she does fall in love with Jake and keeps pursuing this relationship then she knows that over time Jake is going to have a more active role in Lola's life and she doesn't see that as a bad thing. Jake has also expressed that he never wants to replace Rafael, that he doesn't want to step on his toes and get in the way of Lola having a possible relationship with her dad.

But would moving forward with Jake cause potential, permanent problems with her parents, put a constant strain on her relationship with them? She doesn't want Lola to grow up without a relationship with her grandparents; and Amy definitely doesn't want to not have a relationship with her parents. They've always been a close family and she doesn't want to lose that.

But she can't help but think that sacrificing her personal relationship in order to keep a relationship with her parents wasn’t worth it. She knows that no matter what she is never going to get back together with Rafael, not in this lifetime, she doesn't want to be with him, she never did and she once again would only be with him to please her parents. At this point she is fairly certain that her parents would never be happy unless she was with Rafael, it's not about Jake it’s about them not wanting her to be with someone other than her daughters’ father. So, if she's not with Rafael her only other option would be to stay single. After the last few months with Jake, finally getting the opportunity to experience a relationship once again, Amy has been reminded about how much she actually enjoys been in a relationship. She doesn't want to give that up.

All of these thoughts are running through her mind as she drives back and before she knows it she is back in the city and pulling up outside of Jake's apartment building. Clearly after everything she's been thinking about on the drive home, she has subconsciously ended up at the place of the man on her mind. She had just planned on going straight home, taking Lola to pick up some takeaway and then eating it on the sofa together as they watched some movies and sent the night together. But instead she had ended up at Jake's, and even thought she wasn't invited over, hadn't called in advance to tell him she was on her way and they had never had Lola round at his place, she wants to see Jake. She wants to spend some time with him and she is pretty sure that her boyfriend won't send them away.  

“Mommy, where are we?” Lola asks as Amy unstraps her from the car seat before placing her on her hip. Jake lives on the fifth floor and the lift in his building isn’t currently working, it would take them significantly longer to get to the apartment if she had Lola walking, it was much easier to just carry her. 

“We are going to see Jake baby girl.” Amy tells her and she doesn’t miss the way her daughters face lights up at these words. It makes Amy smile slightly, but also makes her wonder how her parents can think that Jake been in Lola’s life is actually a bad thing.

A couple of minutes later they have finally reached the fifth floor and Amy is knocking on his door, contemplating how she’s going to tell Jake about this afternoon. He is well aware that she is supposed to be at her parents all afternoon for her dad’s birthday and so he will definitely be curious as to why she's left so early. He’ll also be curious as to why she’s at his door when this is a new thing for them. He hasn't answered yet so she knocks again, realising that there is a possibility that Jake might not even be home, he has the day off work but he very easily could have gone out. 

Luckily, a few seconds later Jake opened the door looking confused as to why someone was knocking on his door. He is wearing a pair of plaid pyjama pants and faded logo t-shirt; there's a little scruff littering his chin and his hair is a little disarrayed, he's clearly having a lazy day and Amy thinks he has never looked cuter.

“Hey what’s up?” He asks immediately, stepping aside to let her and Lola through the door and into the apartment, but looking confused at their arrival.

“My parents and Lola know about our relationship.” She says straight away, deciding to just come right out with it; then on a whim she reaches up slightly to peck his lips, she keeps it quick and their lips have barely touched before she’s pulling away, but it’s still their first kiss in the company of Lola, or after the revelation from Lola, a first kiss where they both know Lola is in their company anyway. 

Her daughter is also immediately reaching out for Jake, saying his name and therefore clearly seeking for his affection. Jake glances at Amy, almost like he is asking for her approval before he is reaching to take the little girl from Amy, placing her on his own hip instead. Lola's arms go straight around his neck, almost hitting him with her Barbie in the process which makes Amy chuckle slightly as he manages to dodge it with expertise as he asks the toddler how she is, starting up a conversation with her.

Amy deposits her bag, shoes and jacket by the door, closing it behind her before moving in the living room area, dropping herself down on the sofa and letting her head fall back. A sigh leaving her lips as she lets her eyes momentarily close as she actually takes in the events of the day. It's been significantly more eventful and messier than she ever expected when she woke up this morning. 

The sound of Lola and Jake’s conversation flit into her ears as she stays in her spot on the sofa, and she can’t help the smile that graces her face at the sound because this is what she wanted; and when she sits here on Jake's sofa with her eyes closed, just listening to them and not seeing anything, she can momentarily think about how everything is perfect, this little life with Jake and Lola. She can imagine that there’s no problems, no issues to solve. She wishes she could put this moment in a bubble and just live in it forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up, I wasn't inspired and then I've been busy with the summer and it was pushed to the back of my mind, I am so sorry.
> 
> But hope you like this, I know I'm been a little controversial with the way I am portraying Amy's parents right now, but I wanted them to face some hurdles and I was inspired by a quote from ODAAT and a story I read about a person who was basically banished from her family because she entered a relationship with someone who wasn't her child's father. Don't worry though, this is nowhere near the end of the story so everything could change :p
> 
> Anyway, hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker. As always thank you for reading. Comments and kudos greatly appreciated. You can also talk to me on tumblr if you want. mrjacobsantiago.


	9. Trick and Treating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Amy's least favourite time of the year, but her family doesn't seem to care as they rope her into celebrating.

The next few months of Amy's life could be counted as some of the most bizarre months of her life; she's never been happier in a relationship than she is with Jake as the two of them continue to move forward. After five months together, the pair had told each other they loved one another. It had slipped so casually out of Jake's mouth when they had been sat watching TV one night after Lola had gone to sleep. Amy hadn't been sure if she had heard him correctly at first and it had definitely been a case of Jake not actually realising what he had said rather than purposely telling her that he loved her. But Amy could tell that even though it wasn't on purpose it was definitely sincere and he definitely meant it, so she had returned the endearment and the pair had never been happier.

 

Along with their relationship been stronger than ever, so was Jake's relationship with Lola. He was always happy to spend time messing around playing silly games with the toddler who was delighted to hold his attention. Their usual takeaway nights had been upped from once a week to two or three nights a week. Jake still doesn't stay on the nights that Lola is home, but it's nice that Lola knows about the relationship because it means they can be more affectionate with one another in her company. Plus, Lola doesn't seem phased by the idea of the two of them as boyfriend and girlfriend which is a big positivity step for Amy.

 

However, sadly her relationship with her parents was still strained. The night her and Lola had shown up at Jake's door she had explained everything to him. Lola had been tired after the long day and so Amy had put her down for a nap in Jake's room before finally explaining everything to Jake. It was hard night, filled with emotion because she was basically having to tell Jake how judgemental her parents already were of him and their relationship despite never meeting him. She had even ended up crying a little bit which had initially been embarrassing for her, but Jake had been amazing and supportive the entire time, drawing her in for a hug and telling her how he hopes for her sake that they come around eventually. 

Amy knows that Jake was insecure about the whole situation, it can't be nice to know that your partner's parents don't approve even though they have never met him, she thinks that he's hiding an inner fear that the long-term ramifications of her parent’s disapproval might cause problems between the two of them. Amy tried to reassure him this was not the case and although it seemed to work for the most part she knew the feeling was still there.

Since the day of her father’s birthday she had barely spoke two words to her mom, who was still unwilling to acknowledge Amy's relationship with Jake. Her dad had been slightly more understanding than her mom, he had reached out about a week after his birthday and said that although he wasn't happy about the situation they were in, it was important to him that her and Lola were happy and if this was what was making them happy then he would try and get used to it. Sure, it wasn't perfect, but it made Amy feel a little better that he was actually making an effort unlike her mom. 

Luckily for Amy and Jake, all her brothers had reached out individually, expressing their support for the relationship and telling her that they just wanted Amy to finally be happy and that her parents would come around eventually when they realised how much Jake cared for and did for them. All the ones living in and close to the city had also offered up additional babysitting duties for Jake and Amy to have extra date nights.

 It had also helped when it came to her situation with her parents. Since her mom wasn't willing to be open about her relationship with Jake, Amy had decided she wasn't comfortable having her come over to her apartment and she didn't want to go to her parents; meaning they have been temporarily took off the babysitting rota. Amy knew she could never pay her sister in law Taylor for the additional hours of babysitting she had undertaken since the events that played out.

Then, during their allocated babysitting time, her brothers would take Lola up to see her grandparents from time to time; it meant that Lola wasn't missing out but Amy didn't have to risk any sort of confrontation with her parents. For the most part it is working out and everything is running smoothly, there has been a few exceptions when Amy had to sacrifice a shift here and there to look after Lola, or on even rarer occasions that Jake has took of the day to look after Lola.

 

He offers constantly, swears he doesn't mind sharing the days off since it's kind of his fault that her parents are no longer babysitting. Amy can understand his logic but still feels bad asking him to take days off just to sit in with Lola; but he definitely seems to enjoy it, never minds and Amy finds it a small bonus that her mom would probably have a heart attack if she learnt Jake was completing her babysitting duties, so occasionally she will take him up on the offer.

 

Work is going well also; Jake and Holt are finally starting to build a relationship and their mutual dislike of each other seems to have started to disperse. Not only that, but Amy also felt she was making progress in her own relationship with the Captain; she felt they were finally getting into a rhythm and the precinct was back into the high standard they always had, they were making more felony arrests than ever.

 

Since his arrival Holt had made the executive decision to officially change Amy's partner from Jake to Rosa - and he also changes Jake’s partner to Charles - in order to make sure that their personal relationship will never compromise a possible case, Amy understands this, and she enjoys working cases with Rosa, but she definitely misses working cases with Jake. She misses how much they fun the always had and she hopes that they might be able to convince Holt to let them work together on a case again. But, even if she misses working cases with him, they still see each other every day in the bullpen, and Holt hasn't been strict with changing their work locations so her and Jake still share joining desks so that they can still have a laugh or chat while completing their paperwork.

 

Along with everything else, Lola had also begun preschool at the end of August. It had been a very emotional day for Amy, watching her baby girl happily following her teacher into the classroom without so much as a glance back; Amy was both proud of how independent her little girl was becoming and emotional at the fact she wasn't her baby girl anymore. Jake had accompanied them both on Lola's first day of preschool as well, claiming he was there to support Amy but it was clear that he was emotional about the situation as well, something which made Amy feel warm inside.

Lola has well and truly fitted into her preschool and was thriving in this new adventure. Amy had successfully managed to get her into one of the best in Brooklyn and her daughter was loving every single second. Lola was always returning home with new stories for Amy and Jake about her new friends and all the work she had done during the day. Amy had always been a very bookish, academic person herself, and it seemed that Lola was following in similar footsteps, something which made Amy glow with pride. 

So, despite the awkward situation she is currently in with her parents, Amy feels her life has never looked so positive, she's finally in a good place with both her work and her personal life and she wouldn't change a single part of it. But of course, by now Amy knows that nothing ever goes according to plan with her and more often than not, things will start to go wrong if she's having a particularly positive high in her life.

It is Halloween, Amy's least favourite day of the year, she had always hated the holiday ever since she was young. She never saw the appeal of getting dressed up and then basically begging your neighbours for candy; and then as she got older and entered adulthood the appeal of Halloween decreased even more, it always seemed as though it was just an excuse for women to dress provocatively, get drunk and then often commit crimes. It's like they think that if they put on a costume they are immune to the law. It was a nightmare of a day.

This year is no better, she had thought it wouldn't be too bad because she lucked out and got the day shift which wasn't too bad since many don't start celebrating till the night; but then the week previous, Lola had returned home from school and asked Amy if they could go trick or treating. Until now, Lola had always been too young to be interested in Halloween, but apparently her new school friends had been talking about it with Lola and of course now she wanted to go, much to Amy's dismay.

There was a brief moment when she thought she had successfully got out of it when Jake offered to take Lola, he was like a big kid himself and he loved Halloween so he said he was more than happy to take Lola out trick or treating; Amy had snapped his offer up, desperate to get out of trick or treating, and had then planned a night of watching horror movies with Jake once Lola was asleep as a thank you. 

But this was short lived because then her brother Samuel had decided to ring her up to tell her that him and Taylor had decided to throw a Halloween party at last minute and they would love it if Amy, Jake and Lola could join them. Amy couldn't exactly turn down the invite, no matter how much she kind of wanted to, so she reluctantly accepted the offer and her night of snuggling with Jake on the sofa watching horror movies was officially out the window.

So, after a long day at work, one which had involved her having to go undercover with Boyle and then getting roped into Jake's elaborate prank on the Captain that meant she didn't have any paper work to complete, Amy had wanted nothing more than to just go home and stay in for the rest of the night. Instead, she heads home in order to get changed and ready for the party while Jake takes Lola trick or treating around the block.

Over the weekend, Lola had decided she wanted to dress up as a police person just like her mom and Jake; so, Amy managed to find a child's police uniform costume online, and then Jake bought him and Amy some matching orange jumpsuits, telling Amy that they could dress up as Lola's prisoners. Amy had to admit, it was adorable and she really liked how they looked together, especially when Jake snapped a selfie of the three of them together before they headed out.

When they arrive at her brother’s house, it was decorated appropriately in accordance to the holiday, just like all the other houses on the street. Seeing houses and communities like this makes Amy hopefully that one day she can get out of her apartment and into an actual house; Lola would benefit so much from a house, with a community, a garden and much more. There were children all around, milling about and obviously trick or treating, although as she pulled her car to a stop on the street she was unable to see any family members and she guessed they are all inside.

She suddenly remembers that this will be the first time that Jake is meeting her family, meeting all of her brothers at once; sure, he had met a few of her brothers on occasional one to one basis since entering Amy's life; but this was usually only through passing when they dropped Lola off, or her and Jake would arrive home after a day at work and one of her brothers was looking after Lola at Amy's apartment. So far, they had all got on with Jake, they had all been able to hold a conversation with him and had told Amy that she had picked a good one. But this was different, this would be the first time that all of her brothers, her brothers’ families and Jake would be in the same room.

As Amy locked the car up, Lola excitedly headed towards her Uncle's house, pulling Jake along with her and making Amy chuckle as she followed the two of them. Samuel had decorated his front garden to look just like a spooky graveyard with coffins and headstones places sporadically around the grass. She is thinking about how good the decorations look when suddenly one of the coffins that they are passing opens, with a doll that was dressed as a dead person and making a zombie noise popping out.

Amy jumps and almost stumbles as both Jake and Lola letting out a scream from in front of her. Jake's was more of a startled yelp if anyone was to ask, whereas Lola screamed at the top of her voice for over 5 seconds as she jumped right into Jake's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face into his neck. Amy thinks she can also see her daughter shaking as she moves quicker to reach Jake's side to help him comfort Lola.

"Hey, hey, it was just a doll baby; it isn't real okay. Uncle Sam just wanted to give us a little fright, are you okay sweetie?" Amy asks her, stroking her back while Jake bounces her on his hip slightly, both trying to calm her down but Lola shakes her head at her mom’s question before burying her head further into Jake's neck and Amy swears she is going to kill her brother for that stupid decoration. Lola had been excited about Halloween for weeks and if he has ruined this for her then he is going to be in big trouble.

"Come on, let's get inside, you can see everyone's cool costumes and tell them all about the sweets you got trick or treating." Jake says in an attempt to cheer her up as Amy subtly directs them towards the front door, keeping a hand on Lola's back and taking extra care just in case her brother has hidden another pop up somewhere. She knocks on the door as her eyes dart around the garden and constantly land on Lola to make sure her daughter was okay, and since she was no longer tucked into Jake's neck she seemed a little better, although she was still clinging to him like a monkey.

It doesn't take long for Samuel to answer the door, and as it swings open his face is filled with a look of guilt and he immediately says 'sorry' before moving out of the way for them all to enter the house. Amy thinks his apology is for the trick that greeted them in the garden and so doesn't respond but simply walks through into the living room with Jake and Lola by her side; but as she enters she immediately stops short and feels her blood run cold as she comes face to face with her parents stood by the fireplace.

"Abuela y abuelo." Lola cries out excitedly, wiggling out of Jake's arms before running at her grandparents, jumping straight into her grandpa's arms. Amy watches as a bright smile forms on her father’s face as he hugs Lola, but she also watches as her mom’s lips remain pressed tightly together and she doesn't make an effort to greet any of them. She can feel Jake's presence beside her and his hand comes out to rest on the small of her back; but this time it doesn't bring her comfort like every other time. Jake is fully aware of the situation regarding her parents so this can't be easy for him. Jake knows that they don't approve of him or his relationship with Amy.

 "Look at me, I'm dressed like a cop like momma and Jakey. They are my prisoners, I sent them to jail for been naughty." Lola tells them, and Amy's dad chuckles before telling Lola how adorable she looks. However, her mom simply excuses herself and exits towards the kitchen. Amy makes no attempt to follow her this time, and instead uses all the courage she has and grabs Jake's hand before directing them towards an empty space on the sofa, close to where some of her brothers and their partners have gathered.

"Why don't you tell your abuelo all about the sweets that you got from trick or treating?" Amy says and Lola immediately starts talking a mile a minute about trick or treating with Jake and Amy knows she is potentially adding fuel to the fire but she doesn't seem to care, not anymore.

The rest of the night seems to go well for the most part, her mom has not made a reappearance since they arrived, Amy isn't sure if she is actually still at the party although because her dad is still here, Amy has a feeling she is actually just hiding out somewhere. But Amy has given up on caring now, she is not about to let her mom ruin a night that she normally hates but is actually enjoying for the first time ever. 

All of her brothers involve Jake in conversation and they end up having a good laugh as they talk about different sports which Amy is completely clueless about but she has to admit she enjoys watching her boyfriend bond with her brothers. Amy is also positively surprised when her dad sits with them for a short while after entertaining the grandchildren; he asks Jake about the job and they swap some police stories before her dad excuses himself and Amy is thrilled that he is actually trying. She can't deny that her dad looked a little uncomfortable and he doesn't spend much time with them, but he is trying and that's something.

After a while Amy excuses herself - despite the panicked look Jake shoots her - and heads into the kitchen since she's feeling a little hungry and wouldn't mind some food. But she soon realises that this maybe wasn't the best decision because as soon as she enters the kitchen she comes face to face with her mom who is currently engaged in a conversation with Caitlin, who is her brother Anton's girlfriend.

The conversation between them immediately stalls the moment Amy steps through the threshold and momentarily locks eyes with her mothers who is shooting her the same cold look as earlier. Caitlin looks a little uncomfortable by the sudden tension that has settled around the room and Amy feels a little bad for the girl who didn't asked to be placed in the middle of the situation.

"Hey Cait, love your costume. I didn't get the chance to say anything earlier but you and Anton look awesome together." Amy says with a warm smile as she addresses her older brothers’ girlfriend while purposely ignoring her mom before she starts to plate up some food from the snack table that Samuel and Taylor have set up in the kitchen. Most of the food is typical party food but with a clever Halloween twist and Amy can't deny that it looks pretty cool.

"Thank you, we spent ages trying to think of a cool or clever couples costume. Everything seemed so cliché. But you are one to talk, your costumes are adorable; Lola looks so cute dressed as a police officer and having you and Jake as her prisoners." Caitlin replies with a bright smile, Amy watches from the corner of her eye as her mom visibly tenses, but if Caitlin notices this then she doesn't mention it or let it affect her, and Amy isn't going to either. 

"Thanks, Lola asked if she could dress up like me and Jake because she wanted to be a cop too; then Jake bought his prisoner costume to match Lola's while they were out trick or treating and he then bought me a matching one after learning about the party, made sense and I was just glad I wasn't the odd one out." Amy tells her, she knows that the amount of times she has dropped Jake’s name into this conversation will piss her mom off, especially learning that Jake was the one who went trick or treating with Lola instead of Amy herself.

"Well the idea was really cute, you all look really great together and I bet Jake and Lola looked adorable when they were out trick or treating." Caitlin says and Amy thinks she has just added an entire bottle of fuel to the fire as her mom lets out a large, exaggerated sigh, drawing in their attention. 

"Is there something wrong?" Amy asks, her voice filled with a completely false sense of sweetness and dripping with sarcasm. There is a sudden air of tension that settles around them and Amy barely catches Caitlin's quick excuse as she ducks out of the kitchen.

"You dare to ask me if something is wrong when you are stood in front of me, parading around that man like he is part of the family. You are acting like he is Lola's father, like you are some sort of family when he doesn't belong here. It is embarrassing, and not just for you but for everyone to watch as you parade him around like you currently are. You need to start getting your priorities in check." Her mom replies, her voice is cold and hard. Amy had a feeling this would be how her mom would respond, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hit her hard when she hears those words.

"He is part of this family mom. He is important to me and he is important to Lola. My priorities are in check, my daughter is surrounded by people who love her, including that man in there, and nothing else matters. We are not trying to replace her dad, Jake is not trying to be Lola's dad and Lola doesn't think Jake is her dad and she is more than aware that her own dad is out there somewhere. But none of that means that Jake isn't part of this family, and it doesn't mean that Jake isn't going to continue been part of this family in the future. You need to realise that me and Lola are very happy, Jake is one of the reasons why. You'll have to get used to that if you want me in your life." Amy tells her mom. "Now I'm not having this argument with you again, so if you'll excuse me I'm going to get my food and then head back in the living room." 

"I'm not arguing with you either Amy, I am just disappointed that you are willing to turn your back on the family for him." Her mom says, before exiting the kitchen herself.

Amy feels her blood run cold at the words, she knows her mom doesn't know what she is talking about. Amy isn't turning her back on her family and none of her family believed she was. Every single member of her family - sans her mom - had been interacting with Jake all night, trying to get to know him. Her brothers have told her over and over again that they think her mom is ridiculous and that she'll come around eventually.

Amy knows that, but it doesn't mean her mom’s words don't sting. It hurts that her mother actually believes that she would turn her back on her family. Her family mean the world to her, but so does Jake. He's making her happier than she has been in a long time, and what is even better is that he makes Lola happy too.

With that in her mind, Amy grabs her now full plate and heads back into the living room; her mom is in their now, stood back by the fire and making sure she is not even looking towards Jake. Her father had disappeared, probably for a smoke, and Jake is conversing with Enzo and his wife Daisy, as Lola and her cousin Laura are playing in the carpet. Amy sits back down beside Jake who quietly asks if she s alright when there is a lapse in conversation between him and Enzo; Amy figures he has probably worked out that something happened between her and her mom in the kitchen. Amy just nods before offering him some of the food from her plate.

They all stay at the party for another hour or so before Lola starts complain about been tired and comes to sit on Amy's knee. They are the first to leave as the bid everyone a goodnight, several of Amy's brothers promising to get together with Jake and go watch a baseball game at some point before they head back out into the street; luckily the doll doesn't pop out from the coffin this time. Jake offers to drive and Amy gladly hands over the keys to her car because she is feeling a little tired herself and can't be bothered driving. Neither of them had drank anything tonight so Amy is happy to let Jake drive her car. 

The ride home is fairly quiet except for the faint sound of Disney music playing through the speakers. Lola falls asleep within 5 minutes and Amy has been quiet since her conversation with her mom in the kitchen. When they finally get back to Amy's place, Jake offers to carry Lola up to the apartment because Amy can't get her out of the car seat without disturbing her and they don't want to wake her up when she has had such a long day.

Once her daughter is all tucked in, sleeping soundly and peacefully; Amy emerges from the bedroom to find Jake sat on the sofa, costume gone and replaced with sweatpants, some of Lola's Halloween candy in his lap and the title sequences of a horror movie ready on the television. Amy realises that he had known exactly what she wanted without even asking; so, Amy excuses herself quickly to change into her cosiest set of pyjamas before returning to the living room and sitting down to curl up into Jake side, feeling extremely content and her mind telling her that she is definitely not about to let her mother ruin her relationship.

When the movie ends and the candy is gone, Jake says that maybe he should head off since it's getting late; but Amy surprises both of them by asking Jake to stay the night. They have never done this before, Jake has never stayed overnight when Lola is at home. But tonight, after the day she's had, Amy honestly just wants some company tonight, someone to cuddle with and be with. She just wants good spoon. So, the pair head to bed together, cuddling up in Amy's bed while Lola sleeps soundly next door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time since I last updated. I started my new job in September and I haven't had as much free time to write as I used to. I hope that changes soon.
> 
> As always thank you for reading. Comments and kudos greatly appreciated. You can also talk to me on tumblr if you want mrjacobsantiagos.


	10. Holiday's Are Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's officially the holiday season, and as Amy battles with her mom's continuing disproval of her relationship. Her, Lola and Jake start some of their own holiday traditions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!

Hey Over the next few months, her relationship with Jake continued to grow. Since that first night on Halloween, Jake had begun spending nights at the apartment even when Lola was there. On the first of November, Lola had been thrilled to wake up to both her mom and Jake, prompting them to agree that Jake could stay over when Lola was around and so he would often spend the night when they had their takeaway nights, it saved him from going back to his own apartment late in the evening, and it gave them more time together. Amy was fully aware that their relationship was steadily increasing into something serious, something with a very real prospect of a future. Amy is surprised to find that this doesn't make her feel as anxious as she expected it would. 

However, as he relationship with Jake grows, her relationship with her mom becomes more strained than ever. Her mom is still refusing to acknowledge the relationship between Amy and Jake. Her brothers are continuously apologising on their mom's behalf, telling Amy that she is just having a hard time adjusting to the fact Amy is with someone other than Lola's dad. Amy doesn't really appreciate her brothers attempting to justify their moms’ actions since she believes nothing can justify her mother’s behaviour, but at least they aren't ignoring her or her relationship like their mother. Her dad had also reached out, phoning Amy up a couple of days after Halloween, and telling her he was sorry for her mother and that they just needed to give her some time, before ending with the acknowledgement that Jake wasn't too bad. The statement was big coming from her dad.

Since things were strained between Amy and her mom, in the end they decided to do Thanksgiving with the squad rather than her family. Her and Lola usually spent the holiday with her parents and brothers, but over the last few years the dining table had become smaller as her brothers, who had families of their own, tended to spend Thanksgiving at their own home. This meant that Amy knew her absence wouldn't be too big since many of her brothers would also be missing.

Jake wasn't a huge fan of Thanksgiving, he had admitted to Amy that he usually spent the annual holiday alone, telling her that when he was younger he had originally spent the day with his parents, nana and Gina's family; but as he got older, his dad left, his mom worked overtime to earn money to survive and his nana sadly passed away when he was 16, meaning he was left to spend the holiday alone, watching the football game and eating peanut butter and mayonnaise out of the jar.

However this year, Terry's family were going to visit his wife's family without him since he needed to work an extra shift, Captain Holt had informed everyone that his husband would be out of the city for the holiday, Gina would either spend the holiday at some bar getting drunk or with Jake; and Rosa, Charles, Hitchcock and Scully had expressed that they had no plans for the holiday and so Amy found herself inviting the entire squad round to hers for an annual Thanksgiving Feast. She then spent two days after sending out the invite freaking out about how she was to host a Thanksgiving.

To put it simply, Amy could not cook. She knew the very basics that allowed her and Lola to survive without the need of takeout every night of the week, but anything more and she just couldn't do it. Luckily for Amy, she had Jake. Jake agreed to swap a shift with her, meaning that she would need to work on Thanksgiving morning but he would spend the morning cooking the Thanksgiving Feast she promised. Jake had surprised her with his cooking skills, he wasn't at the level of a professional, but he had a depth of knowledge when it came to cooking, he had recipes and experience from helping his nanna on Thanksgiving many moons ago. 

So, on Thanksgiving morning, Amy headed off to the precinct for her shift, leaving Jake and Lola the task of preparing the meal for their guests, since her daughter was adamant that she was going to be Jake's sous-chef. Amy could not deny that she spent the entire shift wondering what exactly made her think it was a good idea to invite the entire squad round to her place for Thanksgiving and anxious to see just what Jake could pull off. It felt like the shift lasted forever, dragging on before she was finally able to clock off and bid farewell to the remaining squad members on duty before hurrying home to make sure everything was running smoothly.

She entered the apartment and was instantly greeted with the smell of turkey and soft Disney music drifting throughout; after removing her coat and shoes, she headed into the kitchen where she was surprised to see that everything seemed to be running smoothly. Jake and Lola were both hard at work wearing their ridiculous matching aprons and chef hats - something Jake had bought them shortly after he started baking with Lola.

Her daughter greeted Amy with a huge smile before diving straight into a conversation, talking a mile a minute all about her day spent cooking with Jake. Amy learnt that the turkey was in the oven, the vegetables were fully prepped and ready to be steamed. The pies were done and waiting in the fridge to be baked later, Lola had made the cranberry sauce all by herself and the table was ready and set up for everyone’s arrival. Amy couldn't deny it, she was impressed.

The rest of the night also went off without a hitch. The squad arrived and managed to successfully get comfortable in the apartment. It was nice to see everyone outside of work and in a more social setting. It made Amy feel closer to her colleagues. Every single person enjoyed the food, Amy thought it was amazing and Holt had paid an extra compliment to Jake about the food and his cooking. Amy took notice of the small smile and blush that appeared on his face as he not so subtly looked at his lap, Amy knows that no matter how much her boyfriend complains about Holt, he very much values his approval and opinion.

Lola had also loved the attention that she got from the entire squad. The little girl showed no bother about how she was the only child in a sea of adults, instead she simply lapped up the attention they were all giving her, showing off and telling them story after story which made Amy's heart swell with love.

Once they had finished with dinner they all retreated into the living room to eat pie and watch the football game, it was Jake's Thanksgiving tradition and since he had prepared the whole meal, it only seemed fair they let him follow his tradition as well.

Jake and Rosa spent the entire game either shouting at the screen or trying to explain the game rules to Lola who seemed completely confused by the sport but wanted to feel like she was involved. Amy could tell her daughter was trying to follow along with what Jake and Rosa were telling her, but that none of it was going in at all.

After the game the squad all headed out, heading home before it got too late. With the squad gone, Jake and Amy both took on cleaning duty, Amy had offered to do it all herself since Jake had cooked the entire meal, but he insisted he help so Amy tackled all the dishes while Jake cleaned up the table and took out the rubbish.

 

Lola stayed curled up on the sofa, watching Tangled and complaining about how her tummy hurt because she ate too much. It wasn't until later that night, when Lola was tucked up in bed and Amy and Jake had also headed to bed for a slightly early night since they were shattered after the long day, that Amy realised that all day she had never once thought about her mom’s roast turkey she was missing out on, never once thought she was missing out because she was surrounded by people she loved, and who loved her back.

 

\--

 

But after Thanksgiving came Christmas, and that was a whole other story because she knew that she couldn't keep Lola away from her grandparents no matter how bad the terms between them currently were. Amy had talked about Christmas with Jake, they were nine months into their relationship by this point and Jake had expressed to Amy that he would like to contribute to Lola's Christmas fund.

Lola was still at the age where she believed in the magic that was Father Christmas, therefore the majority of presents that Lola received for Christmas were from Santa. Jake had told Amy that he wanted to buy Lola some Christmas presents since she was an important part of his life, however he was concerned that Lola might start to wonder why she had received Christmas presents from Santa and Jake, but none from her own mom. So, in the end Amy had come to an agreement with him that Jake could help her contribute to the presents that Lola received from Father Christmas rather than buying his own for her, from him.

She had felt a little guilty in receiving money off Jake for Lola's presents, but when she had thought about it logically she knew that it was perfectly fine for Jake to want to contribute to Lola's Christmas wish list. The pair had been together for nine months now, and he had been in their lives for much longer so he was a big part of their lives.

Her relationship with Jake had lasted longer than her relationship with Rafael before she fell pregnant with Lola. She also knew that is was not uncommon for a person's partner to be involved in said partners, children's lives. At this moment in time, Amy had every intention of continuing her relationship with Jake, she couldn't imagine a reason why she would end the relationship with Jake and she knows that typically the path upwards for every relationship is marriage, which would then make Jake Lola's stepdad, and even if they didn't end up with marriage, he would still be the most prominent father figure in Lola's life moving forward. 

Since Jake was now spending nights at Amy's, they had decided that Jake would simply stay at their place throughout the Christmas period so the three of them could be together; Amy also letting Jake know how happy she was to celebrate Hanukkah with him.

Jake had told her in the past that he always celebrated Christmas alongside Hanukkah since that majority of his close friends growing up had not been Jewish and with Christmas been such a popular, commercial holiday his mom and him had always celebrated the two holidays side by side if they did not have an overlap. He had told Amy that his mom had not wanted him to feel left out compared to his friends at school, so they never normally had a Christmas tree, but his mom would put up some festive decorations and they would exchange gifts and eat a traditional Christmas feast on December 25th.

This year, Hanukkah was at the beginning of December which means that they can celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas side by side; with Lola excited about the prospect of celebrating two holidays. Jake spends the Hanukkah period with Amy and Lola as well, they celebrate it at Amy's apartment, with Jake telling them the story of the Festival of Lights - something which Lola loves - and they light the candles on each of the eight nights.

Jake explains to the girls all about his own traditions that he has adopted throughout his lifetime. Amy knows that her boyfriend isn't overly religious and doesn't generally follow a Jewish lifestyle since neither of his parents were overly religious either. According to Jake is had mainly been his mom and nanna who contributed to the holiday and the traditions that came along with, since his dad was either not bothered or not around. Jake tells Amy and Lola all about the traditions they have adapted and adopted through the years, and he spends time baking them some traditional Hanukkah foods for them to enjoy.

Over the years, ever since Jake got a full time job and other priorities, his celebrating of Hanukkah had become lax at best. But he lets Amy know that even if he hasn't always celebrated the entire eight days of Hanukkah, he still always gets the eighth day off work so that he could attend a service with his mom at the synagogue before going back to hers for a meal.

This year he invites Amy and Lola to come along as well, he wants them to come and he would love for them to finally meet his mom. Amy accepts because she wants to celebrate with Jake, and after everything he has done and had to put up with since starting their relationship, she can't exactly say no. But it still makes her feel anxious about meeting his mom.

Jake is very close with his mom, he loves her and cares deeply for her, for a long time it was just the two of them and it has meant that they have created an incredible bond. Amy can't help but feel worried that something will go wrong and they will somehow end up in a similar situation to the one they are in with her parents, and she would hate for Jake to be in that situation.

Luckily, everything goes well. Amy is definitely nervous, but Lola talks for the both of them plus one, so if Amy is quieter than normal, Lola masks it perfectly. Amy had dressed Lola in her smartest dress before dressing in her smartest dress as well. She had warned her daughter about behaving beautifully throughout the service and Lola maintains this, remaining quiet and sits still throughout the service except for when she was occasionally asking Jake a question about what they were attending.

They return to Jake's mom's for food after the service and Amy quickly learns that the woman is lovely. She is kind and funny and shows no dislike or disregard for Amy and Lola. Amy quickly realises that this is where Jake gets his fantastic personality from. They have a lovely meal, all home cooked by both Jake and his mom. They sit around the table eating and Karen engages in conversation with Lola about school, and with Jake and Amy about work.

After the meal they exchanged gifts, Amy had gone halves with Jake on some decor stuff for his mom, signing it from all three of them while Jake had bought her some jewellery from himself. Amy was surprised to find that his mom had also got them gifts; Karen handing over a lovely arts and crafts set for Lola, while Amy herself receives a hand painted vase that Karen had done herself, while Jake got some Knicks tickets. They had a lovely time celebrating their first Hanukkah with Jake and his mom, and Amy couldn't help but hope it was the first of many more.

 

Once Hanukkah is officially over, it is time for the three of them to start getting ready for Christmas. Amy had always followed the tradition of getting a tree for the apartment; and this year Jake accompanies her and Lola in finding the perfect tree to bring home. Telling the girls just how much he has enjoyed picking out his first every Christmas tree.

Once they have the tree, the three of them spend the first Saturday after Hanukkah decorating the tree along with the rest of the apartment as Christmas music flowed throughout the place. Amy even purchased Jake his very own stocking to place on the fireplace alongside hers and Lola's. 

The rest of December seems to fly by in a flurry of festive activities and treats, with Amy spending many a night staying up late with Jake to wrap presents and make sure everything is ready for the holiday.

As a Cuban family, the Santiago's had always celebrated their big family Christmas on Christmas Eve in line with the traditional Christmas celebrated in Cuba. Every year the entire family would go around to her parent’s house where they would swap presents before enjoying a lovely Christmas meal together before attending a church service to end the day.

Amy couldn't help but worry that this might be altered this year, that she might not even get an invitation from her parents. Amy isn't thrilled about the idea of seeing and spending the day with her mom, but she knows how unfair it would be to keep Lola from the family and she only hopes her mom feels the same. Luckily, her dad phones to confirm their attendance for Christmas Eve.

In the end, Jake decides to work Christmas Eve, he is insistent that he can't persuade Holt to give him the day off, but he does also say that it might be best anyway as he doesn't want to be the source of an argument on Christmas Eve, making it awkward for Lola. Plus, by working Christmas Eve, he has more opportunities to take time off after Christmas for them to spend together.

Amy doesn't argue with Jake because even though she likes the idea of a united front, showing her mom she is not letting her distaste towards them affect her relationship, she knows that Jake is right about avoiding an argument over Christmas. She doesn't want to ruin Lola's day; her daughter loves Christmas with her abuelos.

On Christmas Eve, Amy shows up at her parents with Lola and a sack of presents for the whole family, just like every other year. Her dad opens the door with a huge smile, wearing his typical goofy Christmas jumper that he wears every year. Lola jumps straight into her arms in delight as it has been a while since she saw her abuelo; while Amy spots her mom stood in the doorway behind them, before proceeding to apologise for Jake's absence as she removes her shoes and coat; explaining to her father that Jake had to work but he sends his love along with a fresh batch of gingerbread that he and Lola had made the night before. Her dad thanks her, her mom remains silent. 

They day doesn't go as badly as Amy feared; it helps that all her brothers and their families are there as that means there isn't much focus on the fact Amy and her mother aren't exactly talking. Her parents happily listen to all of Lola's stories, which is the main thing, and even though Amy notices that her mom visibly flinches whenever Lola mentions Jake, she keeps tight lipped throughout the day; not even making a snarky comment when Lola talks about celebrating Han, which is what she calls Hanukkah since she hasn’t quiet mastered how to say the Jewish holiday. She even holds her tongue when they swap presents and Amy hands them all individual bags of the homemade gingerbread as a present from Jake. This one surprises Amy the most. Her mom is clearly trying to not say anything in front of Lola.

They all enjoy the huge Christmas feast that her parents have prepared, with conversation and laughter flowing throughout; and Amy is pleased to see Lola in her absolute element since that was the main thing for today. A little tension rises in the room after the meal when Lola asks Amy why Jake isn't with them just like they were with Jake for Han, but a quick glance round the room as Amy explains to Lola that _'Jake is working remember baby'_ shows that luckily her parents aren't in the room for Lola's slip up.

They head to their local church for their annual evening service. Like Jake, Amy has never considered herself very religious but she always makes sure she attends the church service on Christmas Eve and she knows Lola enjoys it as well. By the time the service is over and Amy is bidding her family a goodbye along with wishing them all a merry Christmas, Amy doesn't think the day has been half as bad as she originally predicted. It sucked that her mom had barely acknowledged her the entire day when before they had always been so close, but it was still the most pleasant time she had spent with her family is recent months.

They return home just after 7pm on the evening, Lola had been tired the entire ride home from the church; but the little girl perks up when they enter the apartment to the smell of freshly baked cookies and Jake. Lola taking the opportunity to tell Jake everything about their Christmas with her abuelos.

Once Lola is finally talked out, the three of them change into their matching pyjamas. Amy had found them online when she was browsing for Christmas gifts for Lola; and for the first time ever, had took the leap and ordered the three of them the matching sets to wear on Christmas Eve. Jake had been thrilled when she showed them to him, teasing her about how cheesy she was becoming; Amy watching the twinkle in his eyes with every teasing word.

Lola loved them as well, became far too excited about wearing the same thing as her mom and Jake. Once they are dressed in their matching pyjamas, Amy makes them all a cup of hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream and mini marshmallows before the three of them curl up together on the sofa to watch the Grinch which is Lola's favourite Christmas movie this year.

Once the movie is finished and the hot chocolate is drunk; Jake and Amy help Lola set out the milk and cookies for Santa, along with a few carrots for Rudolph, before putting a sleepy Lola to bed, whispers about a visit from Santa shared between the three before Lola drifts off and Jake and Amy begin to quietly lay out the presents for the following morning.

Once it is all done, Amy and Jake quickly snuggle up in their own bed, Amy lets her thought drift ever so quickly to her mother and her mother’s disproval of her relationship with Jake. As she snuggles up, wrapped in Jake's arms, she honestly believes that everything she is currently building, the little family that has become her, Jake and Lola is worth her mom's disproval because even though she wishes her mom could just be happy for her; she loves Jake more than she has ever loved a previous boyfriend before; she adores just how much Jake loves Lola and how he is actively playing a father figure in Lola's life without attempting to replace her actual father; and Amy knows that her love for Jake is stronger than the urge to make her mom happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, with the run up to Christmas I have been so busy with work that sadly my writing took a backseat. But, I hope you like this chapter. It was intended to be longer as I was going to combined this chapter and the next chapter together; but I wanted the holiday part to be posted before Christmas and I knew if I had to proof read the next part of the chapter I wouldn't have time to get it uploaded before Christmas.
> 
> I have two weeks off work now for the Christmas holidays, so hopefully that will mean I get to upload another chapter before I go back; and I'm hoping work won't be too bad so I won't take as long between updates.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Comments and kudos would make lovely Christmas presents ;)

**Author's Note:**

> So here is the introduction; I know it’s not much but it’s just setting up for the rest of the story.
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon I promise.


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